Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

My 12yr. is so immature, HELP!!

My oldest son is 12 and he is so immature. My husband and I weren't this immature when we were his age, and in fact we both had a lot more responsibility on us and didn't back talk one bit about it. (he's our first and we're learning along with him!) I know He's not either of us, and we are trying to let him be 'Him'. But he is so immature that we end up getting upset at him and lets just say, we are all suffering. He is a great kid. Very smart, has been on honor role every year since he's been in school. But he doesn't care about anything, like taking care of and other toys & nor how he looks. Neither of our boys 'need' anything all & more have been supplied. But he doesn't take pride in anything he does, & speaks the famous statement of this generation, " I don't care" too much. How do we get him to care and realize he's 12 and could do a lot of things, fun things, but can't because he doesn't act his age.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:54 AM on Jan. 30, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

Answers (8)
  • I have the exact same problem with our DD. She has this i don't care attitude about a lot of things. i have noticed a change in her since we have been praising her more and me just sitting down with just her so we can talk alone. You maight make him first for a while. I know that it's hard to do because I have 4 children but I make time to make her first for a while. Good Luck!

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:58 AM on Jan. 30, 2009

  • Give him lots of responsibilities!! That way he can't say that "he doesn't care". IF he doesn't make his bed, he don't play his games, make him take out the trash or he doesn't get on the computer, etc.. Its a give & take situation.. You know his interests, make it work to your AND his advantage..

    Answer by honeys_sugamama at 10:02 AM on Jan. 30, 2009

  • Boys usually mature slower than girls.
    I think that its normal for the age of 12.
    But the whole "I dont care attitude" I would punish him. Take away his video games until he learns to care for them. Take away activities and give him something to replace his spare time. for example taking out trash. Cleaning his room, another room,etc.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:14 AM on Jan. 30, 2009

  • i would take something away fromh him. i knwo how 12 year old boys are, my brother was 12 2 years ago lol. im only 16 so ive been there. kids these days are ALOT different. so its tough to find something that works for them. start out by making a to do list for him and if he doesnt follow it take something he loves away from him. if he does it after a few days give it bakk to him. little boys are fun. in my moms words "you gotta show him whos boss" or you could also give him the silent treament till he does it (my mom did that a few years ago) worked like a charm. its not very nice but it makes them a little bit more greatful.

    Answer by xhellxfirex495 at 11:05 AM on Jan. 30, 2009

  • " Neither of our boys 'need' anything all & more have been supplied."

    Take it away and make him work to get it back. it's amazing how much you value something when your parents make you work for it rather then just give t to you.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:33 PM on Jan. 30, 2009

  • I disagree. I think he IS acting his age. He cares. He just prioritizes what he cares about and it's probably in his head. Smart kids are not like other kids. They have so much whirling around in their head and he may be the next Einstein. Who gives a rat's patoot if he doesn't care about his appearance if he's working on the possible cure for cancer. I grew up going to a school for brainiacs. Many have had breakdowns over the years over parents trying to mold them into what they want the kid to be. Let him be himself. If you have to remind him to brush his teeth, take a bath or if you have to pick out his clothes so they match, so what? He's probably theorizing something wonderful that you will be proud of in years to come. Now just relax and let it slide off your back. As long as he's not doing drugs or harming anyone let him mature at his own pace. He'll be fine.

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:54 PM on Jan. 30, 2009

  • take things away from him ,give him chores to do to ern his stuff back.maybe he will appreciate it more.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:02 PM on Jan. 30, 2009

  • I received some great info when my DD was placed in the advanced learning classes. Smart kids do learn differently! Some times the ideas in their heads hide the everyday tasks that they are capable of doing. Cut him a little slack & also remember even though he is smart he is still a teen. Work on a new goal every week or so, like placing all video games where they belong, before adding a new task. Be patience and understanding, you will get through it & so will he.

    Answer by Wiggles_GA at 12:31 AM on Jan. 31, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.