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My SIL is just 15 this month, and having sex...

Should I tell MIL? SIL would know it was me.... It happened in THEIR house and I dont really know how to think of this. They let him sleep over... the girls drink there. It is totally out of hand. Last time I told MIL about her drug usage it blew up in my face and I was the bad guy. I either lied or was trying to cause "drama" I know she is going to do it anyways, but why enable!?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:27 AM on Jan. 30, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (12)
  • As much as it may be uncomfortable for you, I would not make it my business. It sounds like you would be the bad guy no matter what so why bother to put yourself in that position.
    mom_wrhsc

    Answer by mom_wrhsc at 10:33 AM on Jan. 30, 2009

  • Normally I am all about the butting in.....sounds like crazytown.

    Stay out of it.

    Try to be a positive influence in SIL's life and encourage her to use BC and stay in school.

    Good luck.
    Wimsey

    Answer by Wimsey at 10:35 AM on Jan. 30, 2009

  • Stay out of it, but do talk to SIL yourself, try not to sound as if you're telling her off but jsut be there for her, be a friend. Good Luck with this.
    tripletmomtobe

    Answer by tripletmomtobe at 10:37 AM on Jan. 30, 2009

  • I wouldn't tell my MIL. I would talk to my husband. Being that this his sister?? IF they allowed the boy to spend the night, they are just asking for trouble IMO.. Don't put yourself in that position.. There isn't anything YOU can do about it anyway..
    honeys_sugamama

    Answer by honeys_sugamama at 10:37 AM on Jan. 30, 2009

  • Your clue here is that they let the fella stay over, which means they are aware and they apparently have no care either way.
    lifeasinoit

    Answer by lifeasinoit at 10:48 AM on Jan. 30, 2009

  • I wouldn't say anything to her mother, but I would try to have a talk with your SIL to make sure she's having safe sex and isn't being pressured into doing anything. Make sure she knows the risks of uprotected sex. She might want someone to confide in. Don't be judgemental...just be supportive and try to educate her.

    StarLee

    Answer by StarLee at 11:27 AM on Jan. 30, 2009

  • If the mother is letting the boy spend the night at their house than I wouldn't say anything. If the issue comes up and they find out you knew just say "well I figured you knew, since he was sleeping over!" If you're concerned about her getting pregnant or if you don't think she's mature enough to be cautious than I'd talk to her personally.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:42 AM on Jan. 30, 2009

  • I would have your husband talk to your MIL about his sisters activities. His MIL may have issues hearing negative thing about her children from you. I would personally talk to the teen myself about safe sex, diseases out their, self respect etc..Maybe your MIL does not have a problem with her daughter being sexually active...

    mommiedear

    Answer by mommiedear at 1:12 PM on Jan. 30, 2009

  • Ugh, I'm living this with members of my DH's family. They let their two boys (19 and 16) drink, smoke pot, and have the gf's spend the night. They were kids once, and snuck out to have sex, etc, so their motto now is "at least I know what's happening". Funny, cause the 19 yo is now married with 1 kid and another on the way, and the 16 yo knocked up his "other" gf (the one he was boinking was the "real" gf made him mad). He'll be a dad in the next 2 weeks.

    Point of my novel, they know, or are at least allowing it. All we can do is bite our tongues when it blows up in THEIR face and they don't know why this is happening to them....*SIGH*.
    Fourbymom

    Answer by Fourbymom at 2:00 PM on Jan. 30, 2009

  • if she lets boys spend the night with her teen daughters then she knows what's going on. I'd stop by the health dept and get them a bag of condoms and not talk except to tell her to be responsible if she is going to be screwing around.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 2:26 PM on Jan. 30, 2009

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