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I CHEATED?! update

for those of you who answered my question thank you. just thought id tell you that i didnt tell him and we r doing fine now. however, i was going to ask another question. now that we are back together, after i slept with this guy, i dont feel as paranoid about him cheating. is it normal to feel this way? everyone says that once you cheat you get more paranoid but i dont feel that way. he has hurt me in the past, hes done things even though he knows how i feel about it. but thats definalty not why i was with that guy (i have very low self esteem and i thought that may be why) does anyone have any ideas? no bashing seriously. we are all here for one reason, i need some answers thats all. for all you who did answer my question thank you. it helped me alot.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:32 AM on Jan. 30, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • maybe in your own mind you were in fact "evening the score". psychologically you put yorself on the same level as him.

    good luck... I hope your ex doesn't decide to intervene and tell him... it would hurt so much less from you.
    LuckyClown

    Answer by LuckyClown at 11:38 AM on Jan. 30, 2009

  • the guy i was with wouldnt tell anyone. i think he knows whats going on and how i felt and stuff.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:40 AM on Jan. 30, 2009

  • i think u did what u thought was rite, im in same boat but i cant seem to get other off my mind.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:18 PM on Jan. 30, 2009

  • Many men cheat. When you cheated you made the reality more understandable. Now you both have experienced it, it gives you control over your own life. You can sit home and feel bad about yourself bc your h cheats (it's HIS issue when he does that . It has nothing to do with you) or you can know that if you wanted you could do the same thing. Some women think their h is rejecting them when they cheat and that no man would want them. Not so. You know other men want you now so you don't have to have your low self esteem. Paranoia? Nope. Sometimes guilt is an issue but I think that's overrated. you made a decision. You did it. You seem ok with it. Let it go. You have the power over your life to do what makes you feel good about yourself. Do what is necessary and carry no guilt or paranoia about it. You are an adult. You can do what you want.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:45 PM on Jan. 30, 2009

  • Maybe now that you know you can get someone else, it doesn't seem to be as important if he could get someone too. I think its really empowered you knowing that you wouldn't be left totally alone if it ever happened again.
    ozarkgirl3

    Answer by ozarkgirl3 at 5:25 PM on Jan. 30, 2009

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