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What is the right thing to do...

I was dating a married man, (I know I know, i dont need 2 be scolded). Anyways, he left her and we were together for almost a year. Then I got pregnant, and his wife (that he was not living with) was livid. He is a condiderably wealthy man and was afraid to lose what he worked for, and he felt guilty 4 starting a new family so he went back and left me 20 weeks pregnant. My daughter is almost a year old, he is still living a double life and telling me he loves me. I am from a different state and just want to go home with my family. I dont work, and dont have any money saved. He pays for everything. He promised if he didnt come back he would help me get home. Then he cries cuz he doesnt want me to leave. I feel trapped, and I know I am partially to blame, but I just dont know what to do. I am not young, I am not a bimbo, and I am aware its wrong what I did...I am just looking for some honest advice.


Asked by Anonymous at 2:34 PM on Jan. 30, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • I would go home and be with family. It's time for some healing of your own. You know what you did, and going home to be with family will give you time to grieve and start over, maybe find someone new, who's life isn't so complicated. Sometimes just having time alone to start over, is all a person needs to get on to a better life.

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 6:49 PM on Jan. 30, 2009

  • Advice on what? I understand what your saying but you didn't really say what you were asking.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:36 PM on Jan. 30, 2009

  • Ask him for money and go home! This man will never leave his wife and you deserve a man that will be there for you and only you.

    Answer by feesharose at 2:37 PM on Jan. 30, 2009

  • Would you be happier at home with your family?

    Answer by Farrahann at 2:38 PM on Jan. 30, 2009

  • File child support when you have the baby and leave him be especially if he is staying with his wife again.
    Don't get involved with him as long as he is with her because that would mean he is just kind of using you.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:39 PM on Jan. 30, 2009

  • wow!! I am speechless. I am not sure what to say in this situation. I mean, from what I understand you are asking if you shoul stay or go? Well, If I were you Id take my daughter and leave. He will never leave his wife. That is what he said about his situation. There may be more to the story than you know. Get out now before you dig a deeper hole. When you do leave tho, file for child support. He has to pay child support. Good luck to you

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:40 PM on Jan. 30, 2009

  • I think the first step is to get a job and start saving some money. It seems like the biggest hold he has over you is financial, and that is something that is completely within your power to change. I think in your heart you know he will never make you happy and be with you fully. Leaving is scary busy and will take a lot of courage, but your daughter deserves a strong and empowered mother figure, not one who caters to the whim of an incrediably selfish man. Once you get yourself on your feet and can leave him, make sure you get child support from him. Sounds like he has the money to provide for his child, and he should. However, you don't have to sit around and wait for him to provide for you.

    Answer by Danielle720 at 2:41 PM on Jan. 30, 2009

  • You have no future with this man, who is a cheater, a liar, and who is not honorable to have brought a new human being into the world and then abandoning the child. This is despicable. It is time you got some job training and got yourself a job. I wonder if you would see a lawyer if you could get some money for child support. Break off this relationship- he is a manipulator. When you are taking care of yourself then you can form a relationship with a decent man.


    Answer by Bmat at 2:43 PM on Jan. 30, 2009

  • Go home and be with your family.

    Get a job. Earn your own way. Support your child and make sure her father does his share.

    Move on with your life.

    Answer by Wimsey at 2:51 PM on Jan. 30, 2009

  • File for child support. Get a job. Move back home with family. He is never going to leave his wife. If he cheated on his current wife then what makes you think he will be faithful to you if he should someday leave his wife for you? He has already proven himself to be a liar and a cheat. Your daughter deserves a better example, it is time to take charge of your own life and do the right thing.  If your daughter came to you with this problem what would you want her to do????


    Answer by Tawanda74 at 3:10 PM on Jan. 30, 2009