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I know my baby is only 1 month and 4 days old.. But I have to hold her all the time, or she's crying. Honestly, I don't mind it.. But I was wondering at what age they learn cause and effect.. The only time I can put her down is if she is sleeping.. Then once she realizes she isn't being held.. She starts fussing.. Me or my husband picks her up and she stops.. And I want to break her of that as soon as possible.. Anyone have any ideas on this?

 
Poopie08

Asked by Poopie08 at 3:53 PM on Jan. 30, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

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Answers (8)
  • I've heard that they learn cause and effect at six months.

    You could try a baby carrier, that helps my daughter a lot of times.
    caitxrawks

    Answer by caitxrawks at 4:00 PM on Jan. 30, 2009

  • PUT HER IN YOU BOUNCY SEAT OR SWING AND LET HER CRY FOR JUST A MINUTE, SLOWLY EVERYDAY LET HERT FUSS JUST A FEW MINUTES LONGER.....BUT ENJOY THE HOLDING A CUDDLING, SOON ENOUGH THEY WONT WANT ANYTHING TO DO WITH YOU....
    THEY MUST LEARN HOW TO BE OK WITHOUT BEING HELD, REMEMBER SHE SPENT 9 MONTHS BEING HELD AND ROCKED
    franklynnsmom

    Answer by franklynnsmom at 3:57 PM on Jan. 30, 2009

  • First, I want to tell you that I was the same way with mine in the beginning... so afraid of causing "bad habits" and spoiling them. I quickly learned that they grow so fast that I could care less about the consequences for holding my baby "too much". Looking back, I think that 5 months was a good age to start teaching her to sleep without my help. Hold your baby, wear her in a sling, sleep with her even. You'll know when she's reached the age to start becoming a little more independent. Cherish every precious minute that she's in your arms!
    flalbert

    Answer by flalbert at 4:00 PM on Jan. 30, 2009

  • Mine was like that too. After about a month I noticed that he could actually go short periods of time without being held. He is up to twenty minutes about four times a day now. I don't really think its a habit you need to break they just seem to need reassurance as they get use to living in this world.

    To save your sanity invest in a sling or baby carrier. That way you have some hands free time. Good Luck and it will get better. I promise.
    FuzNet

    Answer by FuzNet at 4:02 PM on Jan. 30, 2009

  • You have to just put her down and let her fuss for a while, even if it's only for a few minutes at a time. My son did the same thing but I had no choice but to put him down every now and then. By 3 months he got the picture! Now he sits in his little exer-sauce and it good for sometimes up to an hour! It gets better.
    jessicarae787

    Answer by jessicarae787 at 4:06 PM on Jan. 30, 2009

  • Don't let people lead you to believe that you are teaching baby bad habits or that she needs to "learn" to self soothe and that you need to let her fuss. Hold her all the time if you want! You will be creating a baby who is happy and content and will fuss less. Buy a sling Check out the latest research on this subject http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2008/dec/13/parenting-baby-sleep-routine

    maggiemom2000

    Answer by maggiemom2000 at 4:19 PM on Jan. 30, 2009

  • Babies do not need to be broken.
    I would strongly advice you against "breaking" this "habit". She wants comfort. She loves you. She just spent 10 months in your womb.
    Children grow up and become independent so quickly. Once she starts sitting on her own, your hands will be free more.. Crawling - even more. Walking - even more.. Once she's 2, you'll wish she cuddled with you more at times.. And by 5, you're aching for those baby days back when you just get to enjoy them in your arms.
    Holding her all the time is the best thing you can do- it is bonding and assuring her she is always safe and her needs will always be taken care of. Don't let anyone convince you that if you don't "stop this" you'll somehow hurt her. Quite the opposite, actually. It has been proven that babies who are held more, and whose parents respond to their needs more quickly cry less by the time they are a year old.
    Liyoness

    Answer by Liyoness at 5:33 PM on Jan. 30, 2009

  • Furthermore- if you make her "cry it out", or even just fuss because you think you're doing something wrong by holding her when she needs it, then you'll be more stressed overall- babies' cries are not meant to soothe parents. They are meant to make us want to pick them up and protect them. That is why they have the pitch and sound that they do.

    By fighting your instinct to love and hold your baby you will be a more frustrated mother overall..

    And yes, it DOES get tiring always having to hold your baby, I won't pretend that sometimes we just need a break. But hey- that's why there are two parents, extended family, and friends in our lives. No one says you have to cuddle her to yourself all the time.
    Liyoness

    Answer by Liyoness at 5:35 PM on Jan. 30, 2009

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