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How did you adjust to having two kids? I will have a 3 year old and a newborn in December.

I keep having nightmares that I can't carry both kids. I woke up this morning and looked at my daughter and just got terrified that she won't get the attention she deserves while I have the newborn. I am going to be so sleep deprived and on such a different schedule. I don't want her to feel left out in any way or have negative feelings towards the baby, or have me napping in the middle of the day because I was up all night.

I am so scared.

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staciandababy

Asked by staciandababy at 3:54 PM on Jun. 13, 2012 in General Parenting

Level 38 (100,954 Credits)
Answers (15)
  • I don't really recall. DS was 2.5 when I had DD and shortly after she was born DH gave notice at his job and had another one lined up in TX (we were living in FL at the time). When DD turned one month old he went off to TX to work while I stayed behind with the baby, our toddler and a dog trying to sell our house. We were living apart for about 5 months. That whole period of time is a blur.

    QuinnMae

    Answer by QuinnMae at 8:01 PM on Jun. 13, 2012

  • I appreciate ALL the advice I can get! Thank you!
    staciandababy

    Comment by staciandababy (original poster) at 7:03 PM on Jun. 13, 2012

  • Everything will be fine, just give it time. Include your older one in everything. It will all work out and comes naturally in the end.
    Melbornj

    Answer by Melbornj at 6:51 PM on Jun. 13, 2012

  • It's only harder for the first 6-8 months. After that, they will become friends and entertain each other. You can actually get work done while the kids play. You'll see, it's the best move we ever made!!!
    mompam

    Answer by mompam at 6:25 PM on Jun. 13, 2012

  • Mine are exactly 3 years + 1 week apart. It sucked for the first month or two. I felt overwhelmed and guilty all the time because they both needed me, and my 3 year old was so used to having me all to himself. It was a rough adjustment, but after the first couple of months, it got much easier. Now they're about to turn 10 and 7 at the end of the month.
    JulieJacobKyle

    Answer by JulieJacobKyle at 4:45 PM on Jun. 13, 2012

  • Don't worry new mommy - I had two 18 months apart. You adjust, you learn how to be organized. The real trip is getting them both ready and out of the house (takes longer than you anticipate).
    tasches

    Answer by tasches at 4:38 PM on Jun. 13, 2012

  • I had TWINS, which is a little more difficult than having 2 kids a few yrs apart. You just adapt & do the best you can. You're a MOM, you can do it & everything will be fine. Besides-if you make it fun for your 3 yr old to help out her sibling, then you will have a little helper as well :)
    Midnight1125

    Answer by Midnight1125 at 4:35 PM on Jun. 13, 2012

  • My son was almost 3.5 when his sister was born. He was THRILLED to have her around. He was also a great helper all through the pregnancy and newborn months. I would read to him while I nursed. There was a short time when all three of us would nap together. Just take it a day at a time and give your oldest a LOT of praise for all the little things she does.
    Rosehawk

    Answer by Rosehawk at 4:08 PM on Jun. 13, 2012

  • Do not be afraid. Your child will help you with raising a baby. Let him know that you are not without cost. Then he realizes that his mother still loves.
    oli2021

    Answer by oli2021 at 4:04 PM on Jun. 13, 2012

  • My daughter is fantastic- I think I am just doubting myself here. I am getting 8-10 hours of sleep a night now. I don't know if soaking up sleep while I can is helpful or harmful.
    staciandababy

    Comment by staciandababy (original poster) at 4:03 PM on Jun. 13, 2012

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