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Ok, who co-sleeps...no bashing and please give me some advice

I'm just wondering who co-sleeps and how old were they when you put them in the bed with you?
Reason being...my daughter is two months old, she sleeps in the bed with me. Yes, I know, shame on me. However, my husband does nothing to help, if she sleeps in her crib, she'll scream and scream, when I pick her up and soothe her, and she's almost asleep, I lay her down...she wakes up and screams some more. I've tried waiting until she's completely asleep, and the same thing happens.
I get up at 5:30am to feed her, get her dressed, take her to daycare and work 40 hours a week. The only thing my husband does is pick her up and bitch about how she shouldn't sleep in the bed with me.
Yet, he doesn't want to be the one to get up and rock her to sleep. I can't go on 2 hours of sleep a night...I need advice

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:02 PM on Jan. 30, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

Answers (18)
  • Mine always coslept with me and in fact sometimes my 3 yr old still does. It was just easier for me because I breastfed and didnt get alot of help either. Mine have cosept since they were born. They all move out onto their own beds on their own when they are ready. Kids who cosleep have been proven to have more self confidence, higher self esteems, more willing to try new things and be smarter (probably because they are self confident). So tell your husband that when he complains next time. Your baby wont sleep with you forever. One day you will look back and wonder where the time went.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 6:05 PM on Jan. 30, 2009

  • If you are comfortable co sleeping, continue doing so. You need to explain to your husband that it is his child too! See if you can't get him to take your responsibilities for a week. Perhaps you can get one of those basinets that attach to the bedside? That way she is with you, but not at risk.
    Mom1Stepmom1

    Answer by Mom1Stepmom1 at 6:08 PM on Jan. 30, 2009

  • My daughter co-slept with us for 3 months. For the first week of her life, I tried and tried to put her in the bassinet but got the same result as you did : lots of crying/screaming and no sleep. I found that having her co-sleep she was more comfortable and it was a lot easier on me as far as getting some sleep and being able to breastfeed as well. There are precautions you need to take to make sure the baby doesn't fall off the bed, get stuck in between the matress and the wall, suffocate or get rolled over on. You also need to make sure that neither parent is taking any medication that may make them overly drowsy, therefore not able to wake up. Same with alcohol -- no alcohol when co sleeping because it delays your reaction times and you could roll over on the baby but never know it.
    Slowly, we started putting her down for naps in her room and after a few weeks that's where she slept all the time.
    purvislets

    Answer by purvislets at 6:08 PM on Jan. 30, 2009

  • So, I posted before I was ready to do so. Sorry. My daughter contracted RSV when she was young so we were advised to have her sleep in her carseat for a while so she could breath easier. After that, it was really hard to get to sleep in her bed so she slept with us. We did that until she was about 7 months old, then moved her into her crib. Then she started cutting ridiculous amounts of teeth at once and wouldn't sleep so we moved her back into bed with us and that just stopped at 11 months, like 2 weeks ago.
    Mom1Stepmom1

    Answer by Mom1Stepmom1 at 6:11 PM on Jan. 30, 2009

  • I co-sleep and I love it. Especially since I breastfeed its so much easier! Tell your husband to man up, because you BOTH had a baby! If you are having to work to support your family also, then he should share the responsibility in raising y'alls baby! My husband was this way at first, didn't want to help at night, because he needed his sleep for work in the morning... and I don't work an actual job, but I do feel like being a full time mommy is a full time job, so what I'm trying to say is that I told my husband the same thing I'm telling you to tell yours!!! and it thankfully worked for me! Best of luck momma!
    wishwish

    Answer by wishwish at 6:12 PM on Jan. 30, 2009

  • You won't get any bashing from me - I love co-sleeping.
    In fact it is much much safer to co-sleep than it is to leave a baby alone in a crib all night - it decreases the chances of SIDS, helps bonding, and makes for a healthy nursing relationship.

    My 16 month old has slept in bed between me and her father since the day she was born. She won't move to her own bed until she weans herself from breastfeeding - which doesn't seem to be coming soon - and we are all okay with that.
    ladysavage

    Answer by ladysavage at 6:12 PM on Jan. 30, 2009

  • Why shame on you? You shouldn't feel ashamed. Most of the world sleeps with their children; it's a maternal instinct and I believe, best for the child. That's why we had kids right? To give them the best. Children who co sleep feel more secure and know that their needs are going to be met. We've co slept with my daughter and continue to do so (she is 3). One day she will not want to anymore and that's when she will go to her own room. Treasure these moments because they will be gone in a flash. How can you get your husband on board? First you have to find out his specific complaints. Why is he so against it?
    hgibsonorc

    Answer by hgibsonorc at 6:16 PM on Jan. 30, 2009

  • Try pre-warming her mattress with a heating pad that you remove before putting her in the bed. This would keep her from being placed on cold sheets.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 6:21 PM on Jan. 30, 2009

  • I coslept at two months two, until she was 19 months. If your hubby wont help, then shame on him. Not you for co-sleeping. I loved it.

    There is this thing called an AMBY baby hammock. Dr. Sears advertises about it. I wish I would have gotten it for my daughter. It has helped a lot of babies with colic, etc, because it's so snug.
    celticreverie

    Answer by celticreverie at 6:24 PM on Jan. 30, 2009

  • my dd is 7mos and i co-sleep. sometimes i wish i didnt only because she is becoming so mobile and is kicking me in the face all the time lol. but honestly i love it, i love that she cuddles with me. im a sahm but my dd also screams her face off as soon as i put her down and her doc said to be careful with what i create (meaning she will only sleep with me) but i figure thats the job of a mom!. I have my bed set up so she has all the space in the world and my hubby and i stay towards the edge and put her in her sleep positioner! good luck to you, and seriously do what you feel comfortable with
    Kennadismom

    Answer by Kennadismom at 6:31 PM on Jan. 30, 2009

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