I am a 29 year old mother of two and I am currently pregnant with a child that I am carrying for a couple I have been friends with for a long period of time. Both of them work outside of the home, have a beautiful home that they share, and are both very loving and very devoted to one another (they have been together going on 12 years). They have been wanting to have a child for a long time so I offered to carry a baby for them. Now, when people ask me about the pregnancy (I'm currently rocking a 20 week belly! LOL) and I mention this, most people are "Wow! That's a wonderful thing you're doing for them!" or "They are so blessed to have a friend like you!" But when I make mention of the fact that the couple that I am doing this for happened to be named Johnny and Stewart (yes, they are two males) many people's reactions turn to the negative. I get responses like "You're damning your child" or "That's unnatural". When I sit there and listen to these people, I want to berate them for their narrow-mindedness but I hold back because I was raised under the notion that everyone is entitled to their opinions.
But what do I do when people's opinions are apparently supposed to make me feel the gift of helping a couple to have a child of their own is shameful or horrifying? Do I just continue to ignore it or do I respond with something such as "It isn't your life or your child so its none of your concern" or "The child will be in a happy and healthy home"?
Asked by Anonymous at 7:45 PM on Jun. 14, 2012 in General Parenting
Answer by 3libras at 7:50 PM on Jun. 14, 2012Credits: 370237 Level 49 General Parenting Degree
It's a really nice and generous thing you are doing for them. I have to wonder though, why mention the parent's names?
I guess if the conversation takes you there and they start saying something rude about damning the child, I would ask them if they would feel better about it if you were to be having the child for a couple that has only been married for a year and they fight like cats and dogs and you don't think they will make it two years in marriage. The child would surely grow up in a broken home. Is that better? I guess my first reaction would be to challenge what they felt was normal and what is abnormal and what is good for the child vs. what is a more difficult path for the family and child.
Answer by QuinnMae at 8:10 PM on Jun. 14, 2012Credits: 235890 Level 46 General Parenting Minor
Answer by americansugar80 at 10:15 PM on Jun. 14, 2012Credits: 12082 Level 21 General Parenting 101
Answer by louise2 at 9:46 PM on Jun. 16, 2012Credits: 92092 Level 37 General Parenting Degree
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