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4 Bumps

Non custodial parent left child in someone elses care for a week during his visitation!!!

What is the mom to do? She had told the other parent she was going to visit the childs cousins, aunt and uncle and the child begged to go. Dad said no because it's his visitation and he can do whatever he wants (his words). When she got home, she found out that Dad had not been home at all the entire week and the child had been left in the care of his new wife (of maybe 2 weeks whom he married on a whim), who dropped him off at her parents every day to go do whatever. Also the child has a terrible excema outbreak over his entire body from not getting his medications. If she does not send him back to dad's sunday evening, she is in contempt. This is only the beginning of summer and his court order allows him six weeks! What should she do?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:53 PM on Jun. 15, 2012 in General Parenting

Answers (9)
  • she should gather any and all concrete evidence she has and go back to court ASAP.
    tnm786

    Answer by tnm786 at 8:56 PM on Jun. 15, 2012

  • Yes, gather evidence & then contact her attorney.
    3libras

    Answer by 3libras at 9:02 PM on Jun. 15, 2012

  • In Idaho- what you described is perfectly legal as long as the child isn't in any danger.
    The fact the child wasn't given medication, if primary caregiver (in this case dad) knew and neglected to provide medicine as prescribed by a physician, then mom would have legal possible recourse.

    Since child is being cared for by new wife's parents, can mom contact parents and discuss medical needs?
    feralxat

    Answer by feralxat at 9:43 PM on Jun. 15, 2012

  • I don't know if she could get a hold of them, since she does not know them... As far as the medical, she also just found out that her son had an asthma attack and instead of giving him his inhaler they gave him someone else's breathing treatment (steroids). The way she saw it was the visitation is for Dad not for his new inlaws, but it seems everything he does is protected by law but her and the child have no protection. She was told by her lawyer that even is Dad was homeless again, he would still get his visitation
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:52 PM on Jun. 15, 2012

  • Is it written anywhere in their agreements that the child has to be with the father when the father has his time with his son? Otherwise, I don't see this as being any more of a problem than if the mother leaves the kid somewhere while she has him.
    AllAboutKeeley

    Answer by AllAboutKeeley at 2:32 AM on Jun. 16, 2012

  • Since Mom and child are kind of screwed...here is what I recommend:
    Mom to make nice to the new wife and get grandparents contact info. Thank them profusely for caring for the child and let them know child's medical needs.
    Document.
    Give, in writing, to Dad and new wife, all documentation of child's medical needs.
    Document.
    Document child's time spent with Dad and any other caregiver when child returns to Mom, if possible, with a doctor.
    (Notice a theme?)
    Mom may not have any recourse on who watches but the medical issues may be used to modify visitation.

    In my experience- medical neglect trumps- Dad is an Ass- every time.
    feralxat

    Answer by feralxat at 10:15 AM on Jun. 16, 2012

  • i agree with feralxat
    WildCat73

    Answer by WildCat73 at 2:56 PM on Jun. 17, 2012

  • while I agree with feralxat as well, he is not really allowing contact between her and the new wife. He has a history of keeping his s/o' s away and separate from all that could possibly tell them the truth about the bs he feeds them. It's a bad bad situation. He is my brother in law and he is not happy at all that the mom and I are close...
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 3:13 PM on Jun. 17, 2012

  • well, it happened twice more, he left to go to misspissippi and now kentucky. When he was with him, somehow the child got an infection in his knee that swelled up to bigger than a grapefruit and he refused to take him to the doc, DHS was called but they didn't seem to care, no one has heard back from them and the child is still with dad (well step mom/in laws). with the knee infection he drug him all over town and camping...lovely
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 8:15 AM on Jun. 29, 2012

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