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2 Bumps

Is it wrong that I still let this bother me?

When I was 15, I was walking around the house in a spaghetti strap top with no bra. My stepdad(technically father, since he adopted me when I was 8) told me I couldn't walk around like that, that I don't realize what that does to a man. I changed, then went to the bathroom. When I came back to my room, he was standing there in nothing but his tighty whiteys, changing a light bulb. A couple days later, I was in the bathroom doing my hair, and he came in and srood behind me talking, wearing nothing but a bathrobe. Before I knew it, his erection was poking through the opening in the front. I am now 44 and he's 60. Our relationship is cordial, but I still feel uncomfortable around him. Is that excessive or unusual, given the time that's elapsed?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 7:51 PM on Jun. 16, 2012 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • I would still bother me. In fact I doubt I would have had any kind of relationship with him once I became an adult.

    Answer by meooma at 7:54 PM on Jun. 16, 2012

  • Given the title of the question, I was all set to tell you some little piece of enlightenment that recently helped me to be able to forgive...someone once said forgiveness doesn't mean saying its okay, forgiveness means being able to move on and finding peace in your own self.....and that probably still stands in your case as well....but that's a pretty tough situation...I would find that hard to forget about....I'm sorry that happened....I'm happy for you that it didn't go any further than that....

    Answer by FXmomTo3 at 8:21 PM on Jun. 16, 2012

  • OMG! :( (((HUGS))) There are less traumatic things from my childhood that still bother me 'til this day. Your stepfather's behavior was extremely inappropriate AND the incident(s) happened at such an impressionable time in your life. There is nothing wrong with the way you feel. It's like you're frozen in time; You've never been able to deal with what had happened to you. I don't have much experience with said subject matter here; I'm going to BUMP this question and hopefully someone will have the answer or answers you seek. Again, (((HUGS)))

    Answer by LanaisSky96 at 8:21 PM on Jun. 16, 2012

  • Did it go any further then that? Did he molest you?  

    I personally would stiff feel uncomfortable around him.


    Answer by louise2 at 8:25 PM on Jun. 16, 2012

  • Sheesh, I think it's HEALTHY that that's bothered you to this day.

    Answer by SWasson at 8:38 PM on Jun. 16, 2012

  • stiff=still

    Answer by louise2 at 9:14 PM on Jun. 16, 2012

  • It's good that you're cordial but I would still feel uncomfortable around him. Sitting on my mom's boyfriend's lap as a kid I felt his (hard) junk....I've never and never will be completely comfortable around him.

    Answer by Ludvik_Smith at 9:41 PM on Jun. 16, 2012

  • I would want to puke every time I saw him, so I think it is perfectly normal for you to feel the way you do, no matter how much time passes!

    Answer by Mom-2-3-Girlz at 10:38 PM on Jun. 16, 2012

  • Also...did you ever tell your mother about this? Is it something you carried around with you without her knowing? Or did she know and not do anything about it? I can see how, either way, those options would have their own set of complications.

    Answer by Mom-2-3-Girlz at 10:39 PM on Jun. 16, 2012

  • That's pretty nasty and I think it would bother me too. If it were just the underwear thing I would think he was trying to make a point, but the bathrobe things is just effin nasty.

    So no, you aren't wrong that it still bothers you.


    Answer by QuinnMae at 10:51 PM on Jun. 16, 2012

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