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Would it bother you?

Ok so my SO isn't the emotional and affectionate type. It bothers me and makes me feel like he dont want anything to do with me. I know he loves me but I want some attention sometimes and want him to hold me, etc...I'm always the first to kiss him and stuff like that. Ive told him this bothers me and he says he'll try harder...does anybody have any advice? Should I just try not to worry about it? He's great except for this part.

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misspriss_1987

Asked by misspriss_1987 at 10:02 PM on Jan. 30, 2009 in Relationships

Level 13 (955 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • I deal with the same thing with mine. I don't get it. I guess they think we should just know they care without showing it. Well, I am not built that way (sounds like you aren't either!!) I often think of leaving him. Life is too short for crap. There ARE men out there who show affection. I want to find one!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:52 PM on Jan. 30, 2009

  • Ya know what.. my husband always says that, but as the receivee.. we learn to adapt to your mood, we mean nothing intentionsl. Are you in control of this relationship???? Sometimes we feel weakend. Nothing against you.... But really..... it can be scary for someone who isn't used to being the"aggressor"!!!
    jennieo622

    Answer by jennieo622 at 11:35 PM on Jan. 30, 2009

  • Mine wouldn't touch me affectionately on a bet. He's military and says he doesn't do touchy feely. The big galoot. I have to accept him as he is.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:35 PM on Jan. 30, 2009

  • your the opposite where you show him affection and he doesn't. thats just personality trait he has developed from his family growing up. i'm the same way. i'm not as affectionate as my hubby is. accept when i'm hormonal which is about once a month. my hubby gets on my nerves with his huggy kissy attention all the time. i think this is just something you guys have to compromise on or you accepting who he is. it's harder to be affectionate then accepting the lack of affection. you could try to train him or rather condition him. just be extra affectionate and make it more so during happy times or fun times. eventually he will get used to it. although that takes time. i have worked hard at being more accepting of affection.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 11:37 PM on Jan. 30, 2009

  • the only time it would bother me is if he is not affectionate in certain situations...like if he is around coworkers, or a certain group of people...that is a sign of something much bigger....Some men are not like that...talk to him...is there a middle ground...and let him know it hurts you and makes u feel unwanted...
    Alexmygirl

    Answer by Alexmygirl at 11:53 PM on Jan. 30, 2009

  • I dont have that problem but I think that its a man thing....Honestly. There are some men that love to give it to their women and their are others that show it differently. I would just keep doing it first so nothing does go wrong. If hes great in other ways I would let it get to me too much but I would keep saying something like hey can you hold me. good luck!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:56 PM on Jan. 30, 2009

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