Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Arranged Marrige?

I was just watching 20/20. They stated that 50% of american marriges end in divorce. In India 5-6% of (arranged) marriges end in devorce. Well i know here in america more than 1/2 the people live with no morals sleep around and drink and what not. What do you think? Why do they last and ours dont? What can we learn from them????

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:05 PM on Jan. 30, 2009 in Religion & Beliefs

This question is closed.
Answers (21)
  • i beliee that the only way a marrage will work is if you put the other person's needs ahead of your own. You must also agree before the wedding that dicorce is not an option for you. commit until death do you part and not until one of you gives up. My husband and i married for life. we have our problems BUT even when times are tough we agree to work on our problems and not give up.
    Skylene

    Answer by Skylene at 7:33 PM on Feb. 3, 2009

  • Well if the laws changed to were you couldn't divorce. There would be know divorce. But that won't stop people from breaking up.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 10:11 PM on Jan. 30, 2009

  • They probably last because of fear of religious prejudice or their parents. Hey, if you had an arranged marriage at least you could blame your parents for the rest of your life instead of yourself if you married the wrong person! Hee hee. I think that marriages end in divorce so much more now because people aren't holding themselves accountable anymore. It's no big deal to end up divorced so people don't think twice about getting married. There are no consequences. We have a rule that the word divorce is a bad word. It will NEVER happen so deal with the problem! Work it out. I think that if more people had that mentality there would be so much fewer marriages ending.
    feesharose

    Answer by feesharose at 10:12 PM on Jan. 30, 2009

  • I think they last longer because their culture is alot different. They wouldn't or can't get divorced even if they wanted to. Because it goes against everything it stands for in their country. Here we have more freedom to choose and such. And sometimes Divorces are the best thing for both people. You fall outta love sometimes, you get into a situation where you can't fix something. Not everything is fixable and for the woman who said divorce will never happen in her marriage and its a bad name. You shouldnt say that. because what happens if one day your kid is unhappy in their marriage and wants out and you won't support that, you will of taught them to stay no matter how miserable. Like I said I think they last because its about force not option
    SweetPoison

    Answer by SweetPoison at 10:16 PM on Jan. 30, 2009

  • There is a book and movie called Love Comes Softly, that IMO portrays why marriages that are forced last longer than the common "I'm so in love, let's get married" American marriage. When you have a marriage that is arranged, you learn to love someone, you do not choose to love someone. (Hopefully that makes some sense). Also I think it helps that they go into marriage with no expectations of divorce at all, while I am sure every American (or at least most Americans) knows and keeps in mind that divorce is an option if things don't turn out the way they planned.
    soccerchik8287

    Answer by soccerchik8287 at 10:22 PM on Jan. 30, 2009

  • Well even most Christian people know that the only reason you can get a divorce is if a person has cheeted, even after saying till death do you part. So i have no idea they just have more faith and fear in their god. Plus they are more religious in general. yea go India
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:25 PM on Jan. 30, 2009

  • I am guessing in arranged marriages that the couple knows what is expected of each other, and their expectations are more matter of fact. Especially for marriages of average people (not royal marriages or political or money marriages, maybe) the parents probably have the well-being of the young people at heart. They can be logical about it, how suited are the couple, and so forth. Where for us Americans, we so often fall wildly in love and toss logic out, then when the initial excitement wears off, what is left- if it isn't a strong friendship, then it may be tricky. Not that arranged marriages can't also go wrong.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 10:39 PM on Jan. 30, 2009

  • They stay together because they "shame the family" if they don't. Women are expected to "stay in their proper roles". Men can go out and do as they please and the women "must endure". Men have the control --- if you leave a man, you most likely lose all contact with your kids, too.

    If putting up with a man's crap so that I don't embarrass my family by leaving his sorry ass is what I can learn from arranged marriage --- no thanks. I'll just stay an ignorant immoral American.
    Laura1229

    Answer by Laura1229 at 10:54 PM on Jan. 30, 2009

  • i think our divorce rate is so high b/c Americans are lazy. when a marriage gets rocky, instead of getting counseling and working through the problems they say "naw. im just gonna get a divorce."
    i think the fear theory makes sense on the arranged marriages. that & they understand their specific roles before they get married. on that note im glad to be American haha
    okmanders

    Answer by okmanders at 11:44 PM on Jan. 30, 2009

  • I think that you have to have God in your marriage or its not going to work .. I know from experience

    hinson7169

    Answer by hinson7169 at 12:40 AM on Jan. 31, 2009