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2 Bumps

Could you live with someone like this ???

About 7 months ago my sons asked if he, his wife and baby could move in with us for a little while, because his wife got fired ( we were all surprised it didnt happen sooner) , and he was not making enough money to support them.

Part of me is glad that they did because I have a close up view of how great my son has turned out.... he is young (19), but he is working hard and he is such a great father...

The other part of me is wondering what in the hell I was thinking --- I could not stand his wife before, and I am about to wring her neck now !

She has to make a problem out of everything, plus she is soooooo lazy and disrespectful and I have to say she is a lousy mother !

For example since they have been here , she has barely lifted a finger ( she has not worked at all, not even tried to find a job) ... I asked her to do a load of laundry one day and she got mad and said she cannot do laundry...... when i got home that evening she showed me a picture of a laundry organization thing and said the only way she would do laundry is if we bought one of these ... SHE IS CRAZY ... I said we do not need one of those things, we have a dirty clothes baskey, you put those in the washer, then the dryer, fold the,, put them back into the basket. SIMPLE. well that was to much for her.

She cant do dishes, in fact she cannot even pick up dirty dishes ( her dirty dishes) ....

the biggest thing I am upset about is the fact that she does not take care of the baby --- she likes to pretend to, if someone comes over she acts like mother of the year , as soon as guests leave the baby is back on the floor...... the nights that my son work, she takes the baby to her moms house and leaves her there until it is time for my son to get home -- the baby is never here unless my son is here to take care of her....

I have talked to my son and he told me he knows how awful she is and he cant take very much more ( she is constantly mean to him , talking down to him and screaming at him) but he feels like he has to try to make it work so she wont try to take the baby or try to use the baby against him ( the reason he married her is because she made him believe that is would be really easy for her to get full custody of the baby since he wasnt married to her and since he is alot younger than her ) ....

He even tried to set up an account to save their money .... guess what she got mad at him and withdrew all the money and wont even tell him where it all went !!!!...

I am seriously about to kick HER to the curb, but i am afraid because then my son and grandbaby will go to --- they will go to her mothers and her mother is exactly like her, so he would have it twice as bad...

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:07 PM on Jun. 19, 2012 in Parenting Debate

Answers (10)
  • He is an adult now, he has made his choice. He has made a baby with his choice...planned or otherwise. He has his own family and he has to figure out how he is going to make it work. I know he is your son and you want what is best for him, but these people are his responsibilities.
    Mom-2-3-Girlz

    Answer by Mom-2-3-Girlz at 11:32 PM on Jun. 19, 2012

  • Charge them "rent" and put the money away so that when he needs it for a divorce, it will be there.
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 11:40 PM on Jun. 19, 2012

  • What does your SON want to do?
    feralxat

    Answer by feralxat at 8:33 AM on Jun. 20, 2012

  • Well I could live with someone like that knowing the end result was going to be your son getting full custody of his child. You and your son needs a lawyers advice. You should be documented everything you can. Get out the camera and be that doleful grandma. I'm sure you'll eventually catch dirt on her. Talk to the other grandma, see where she sits in all this.


    He's got to figure out what he wants. Does he want to remain married to her? Could some kind of help, change his wife into an easier person to deal with? Does he want his child, full time?


    I am curious. You said he's younger than his wife. How old is she?

    isabellalecour

    Answer by isabellalecour at 10:28 AM on Jun. 20, 2012

  • Have you thought of charging them for board and room? Make it high enough that DD has no money that she can go anywhere with or do anything with (encouraging her, then to get a job) I would talk it over with my son. It could be that he "asks" you for gas money and expense money and you put that money into an account for him to use later. If I were him I would try to buy her off for a lump sum. It would have to go through a lawyer (I bet a parlegal could do most of it) and dissolve the marriage and the custody of the DGD. The custody issue would be the buyout part., with her aving no claim to the child at all.
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 3:07 PM on Jun. 20, 2012

  • I couldn't live with someone like that. I tried it twice with the boy's bio..it was disastrous.  He needs to decide if he wants to make the change now or spend the next several years as miserable as he is now.

    meooma

    Answer by meooma at 4:32 PM on Jun. 20, 2012

  • I love ohwrites idea
    LostSoul88

    Answer by LostSoul88 at 4:39 PM on Jun. 20, 2012

  • More and more fathers are getting custody of their children. If he can prove that he's the best place for the baby to stay then he should be able to get the child. He needs to talk to a lawyer. As stated before document, document, document. This would include when you ask her to do laundry and she refuses. Personally I'd do my son's and the baby's. If she wants her's washed she does it or it stays dirty. Even my 4, 5 & 6 year old sort and put away their clothes.
    baconbits

    Answer by baconbits at 2:44 PM on Jun. 21, 2012

  • right Lol oh write...
    smiley745

    Answer by smiley745 at 10:41 AM on Jun. 30, 2012

  • Charge them "rent"...
    GlitteribonMom

    Answer by GlitteribonMom at 8:49 PM on Jul. 20, 2012

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