Kinda long..but need advice

Ok my ex-fiancee' and I split up a month ago. I'm 22 weeks pregnant with my first child(this is his third).He hasn't called or tried to contact me in any way to check on our baby until 2 days ago...He's now engaged to someone new(they started dating a week after we split up last month)...and out of nowhere he messages me on facebook to let me know he's getting things ready for our daughter and that he will be in her life.I said why are you getting things ready,she's not living with you.Then he gets hateful saying I'm being a bitch and things like that..I've never told him he couldn't see her when she's born,I even offered to drive to his mom's house(where he lives) to let him see our daughter.His mom's house is almost an hour and a half from where I'm living...He thinks that just because I'm single(staying with my parents right now because I don't have a job,I was in college but I'll be taking a break when my daughter is born) and he's engaged that he and his new fiancee will be able to get custody of my daughter once she's born. He has 2 kids from his previous marriage,he still hasn't taken the parenting class(they divorced 3 years ago) and he is over $8,000 behind in child support on those children...sorry for all the rambling but my question is,do you ladies think he will be able to take my daughter away from me?

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Asked by Cloud_Dancer09 at 8:23 AM on Jun. 20, 2012 in Relationships

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Answers (15)

There is no way in hell a court will take a baby away from you when you have a support system to give to the dad just because he is enganged. Engaged means nothin to a court even if he was married they wouldnt do it. He lives with his parents as well.
Unless he can prove you unfit there is no chance in hell he will get custody. If he wants to be this way, don't work with him. If he wants to see his daughter make HIM come to her. Take his ass to court for CS (not that you will get anything given he's past). If he wants joint custody then he can pay to take you to court and fight it. He is only doing this because of the new piece of ass he has.

Answer by LostSoul88 at 9:33 AM on Jun. 20, 2012
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Personally, I wouldn't put his name on the birth cirtificate. if he want to be in her life, he can go through legal chanels to get a court ordered paternity test. that would be expensive probably and so it would likely be a while, if ever.

I think men have the right to their children, but I loose all sympathy for a man threatening to take a child away from a mother for no reason other than spite.

If the law doesn't know he is the father, then he has no legal claim to her until he proves he does. It sounds harsh, mean, vendictive, yes. does he deserve it? YES. all your baby girl needs is a stable male figure in her life. it does not have to be bio dad. it can be your dad, your brother, a friend or neighbor. I think she is better off without this deadbeat. It takes sperm to father a baby but it takes character and commitment to be that girls daddy.

Answer by zetajen at 10:18 AM on Jun. 20, 2012
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Why in the world would you want to have sex with a person with that kind of track record. And no, he can't take your daughter away from you. Being that far behind in child support could land him in jail though

Answer by adnilm at 8:38 AM on Jun. 20, 2012
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You sound like you have a good family,, you need to file for support right now,, I am most likely sure they wouldn't allow a man who has 2 other kids he isn't taking care of to get custody of your child. Unless he can prove you unfit, and from the way you sound I highly doubt it. He sounds like a player trying to keep his options open,, just be polite to him and get a lawyer today.

Answer by kimigogo at 9:55 AM on Jun. 20, 2012
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I wouldn't put his name on the birth certificate either. He hasn't paid child support for his other children so he won't pay it for yours either. Move on, eliminate contact with him (get off facebook) & start a new life with your new baby.

Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 10:53 AM on Jun. 20, 2012
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I think it's likely he will get joint legal custody if he files for it. I think physical custody for infants generally has mom as primary (particularly if you are breast feeding), but he should get some type of visitation which will increase likely as the child ages. Custody and child support are totally unrelated. My ex hasn't paid in 3 years, but he takes his visitation every other weekend.

Answer by missanc at 12:00 PM on Jun. 20, 2012
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He'll probably get joint custody and visitation.

Answer by CometGirl at 2:53 PM on Jun. 20, 2012
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I don't think so, but you should check on laws in your area.

Answer by Bmat at 8:31 AM on Jun. 20, 2012
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on a side note,, I would try to get some kind of degree before baby gets here,, is there anyway you can finish online?

Answer by kimigogo at 9:56 AM on Jun. 20, 2012
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How stupid is his new fiancee?

I'd want to warn her.

Answer by gdiamante at 10:05 PM on Jun. 20, 2012
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