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Should I feel guilty for joining a gym?....

...'cause I do. I have four kids and a very supporting husband, I just feel really guilty about leaving for (only) an hour 2-3 nights a week to do Pilates. I feel guilty because my place has always been at home, as is my comfort zone. I don't wanna give up already (have not even taken my first class) and I do want this really badly. I am a stay at home mom so I take care of everything I need to during the day, and homework after the kids get home, I also have dinner ready at a normal hour. I just feel guilty. Does anyone else get this way? Any advice?

If I cant get this off my mind then I may just forget about the evening Pilates class and just attend the gym during the day to use the womens area while the kids are at school...maybe that will make me feel less guilty. LOL


Asked by Patrina1981 at 8:05 AM on Jan. 31, 2009 in General Parenting

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Answers (15)
  • Feeling guilty for doing something for yourself. Something that will make you healthier in mind and body....enabling you do have a healthier life and to better care for those around you. A healthier life that will allow you to be around your family longer.

    Not seeing any reason for guilt at all...sorry. I'd love to be able to get away for an hour. As it is, I sit here with the kids....I spend all of my time with the kids or with my husband. I get up at 5am just so I can have some time to myself every day.

    Trade ya.

    Answer by TiccledBlue at 10:12 AM on Jan. 31, 2009

  • Mom deserves and needs time for herself. You need to take care of yourself, and be happy. It will carry forward to caring for your family. No guilt!!!!! Your hubby can handle the family while you get your time. Let him!

    Answer by halfpint_ny at 8:08 AM on Jan. 31, 2009

  • NO. Every mom needs a break. You are being a great example to them by staying in shape, being active and fit.


    Answer by xtina34 at 8:16 AM on Jan. 31, 2009

  • Absolute Not! You should be able to go to the gym/Pilate classes. Go take the class and do your work out. Its only 2/3 nights, and bonding with a father without the mother their is so much more healthier. I stay home too, and take my little one to the nursery for ONE hour. I use to feel so guilty. BUT he loves the other kids. Its too hectic for me to go at night when my other children get home. I feel like I am racing around, and my husband doesn't get home until around 6:30, so it just doesn't work for our schedule.
    But don't you dare give up, until you have tried it a few classes and see how they all fair with out you at home for those first few times. Good Luck!!

    Answer by bugsandpirates at 8:23 AM on Jan. 31, 2009

  • Dude - get off the cross, someone else needs the wood.

    You need to realize your family will be healthier and happier if they get a little break from you - and vice versa.

    The children need time alone with their father - and you need some time to breathe.

    Answer by Wimsey at 8:31 AM on Jan. 31, 2009

  • You need to go to the class your husband can handle things for an hour a couple nights a week.... and everyone will probably be happier too!!

    Answer by scaredmommy08 at 9:18 AM on Jan. 31, 2009

  • Don't feel guilty, I think its healthy for kids to be away from their mother now and then and spend time alone with their father as previous posters have said.

    Answer by lilymama03 at 10:49 AM on Jan. 31, 2009

  • Oh my goodness, don't feel guilty! You need your time away too, just to stay sane!

    I play ice hockey and have games sometimes multiple times per week. I'm gone for probably 2-3 hours (including drive time and playing time). I absolutely DO NOT feel bad about leaving, unless my son is sick or very cranky. Then I tell my DH "Sorry honey, hope everything goes well", LOL :)

    If I didn't have hockey, I know I'd be at the gym a heck of a lot more just to get out of the house.

    Keep doing what your doing sista!

    Answer by ap9902 at 10:57 AM on Jan. 31, 2009

  • You should NOT feel guilty. It is good for your husband to have time with the kids without you, it is good for your children to have a physically & mentally healthy mother, it is good for you to value yourself as a person separate from your cherished role as mother!

    Answer by nysa00 at 11:41 AM on Jan. 31, 2009

  • I understand how you feel. I do in home parties for my own direct sales business. I'm away from home about 1 night a week. This means my hubby is in charge of everything for the evening (dinner, homework, bath and bed). I get home and believe it or not the kids are in bed, dishes cleaned up and we get a little alone time. At first I felt guilty but then realized I'm doing something for me and that is OK. I'm sure your husband does things for himself and doesn't even think twice about it. Also in the morning my kids are so happy to see me - but they do need some alone time with their dad. I say go for it - it may be difficult to leave but once you start it will get easier.

    Answer by the3jsandme at 11:46 AM on Jan. 31, 2009