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Need Advice PLEASE HELP!

Me and my SO have a 12 month old baby boy. Up untill recently we have gotten along fine but lately all we do is argue. Well its more of nagging than anything. My SO says that when he wants us to talk about an issue, that I will get what I have to say in and that when he tries to speak that I ignore him change my tone back to a happy one keep on doing what I was doing with our son. I guess I don't realize that I do it so much but I just don't have the time to argue with him. He also says that when It gets real bad that I just tell him to leave the room so we can be alone(me and our son) I just don't want to argue anymore. He also says that I should treat him better(greet him with a kiss/hug after work in front of our son things like that) cause he sees this and will feed of it. First off, I know we shouldn't fight in front of him anyway but do you think that our son sees this and will start treating my SO different?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:09 AM on Jan. 31, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • Yep. My kids already pick up on how my husband treats me. They learn what they see.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:12 AM on Jan. 31, 2009

  • I can't believe you tell your SO that you that you don't have time for him. Guess what he'll be doing without guilt? Yup...finding someone that will have time for him.
    EireLass

    Answer by EireLass at 8:23 AM on Jan. 31, 2009

  • Well he says that our son is starting to ignore him as well. And to prove his point he would call our son repeatedly and wouldn't get any response. Then right after, my SO would then tell me to call his name and to my surprise he did actually look my way. We did this a few times and for the "ultimate" test, once while he was in front of the television and every time he responded only to me. I didn't know what to say other than "it was just a glance".
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:28 AM on Jan. 31, 2009

  • You have to try to find a balance between your husband and your child, telling him that you don't have time for him is not the answer. It is not good to argue in front of your children, my kids have already been able to pick up on things when we are not happy with each other, so we try our hardest not to argue in front of them.
    I also always try to be affectionate towards my husband when my children are around, (and other times as well..), I make sure to hug/kiss him when he gets home from work, bring him a soda, etc. The children are going to learn to mimic these actions, this is how they learn how to be grown-up. I read somewhere that the way that a person parents directly reflects the way their children will parent and handle situations.
    It sound like you and your SO need to take a night out, get a sitter and sit down and talk about these problems before they get worse.
    Best of luck to you, I hope it all works out.
    NewMommyin06

    Answer by NewMommyin06 at 9:04 AM on Jan. 31, 2009

  • try letting your husband say what he wants to first. that way, you hear what he says. i'm sure you want to get your say-so in there, so you'll stick around until you can. showing affection to him around your kids is always a good idea. it helps babies teach love AND it shows that that you two are united. if you two keep arguing in front of your child, he will begin to manipulate you (ie. when you say no, he'll go ask daddy...and generally, they're right on target with knowing that you two don't communicate well enough).

    try setting some time aside for each other during naptimes or after bedtime. and, though i'm sure you've heard it plenty of times, try putting yourself in his shoes and understand where he's coming from. this isn't about who's right. it's about what's best for your baby.
    MommyToJessica

    Answer by MommyToJessica at 11:57 AM on Jan. 31, 2009

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