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So my ex fiance/father of my children of the past 7 years have just broken up. Well, actually he left me for his ex ( mother of his eldest daughter) with whom he hadnt had any contact with for the past 4 years but had finally got the balls to go for visitation (which I was 100% supposrtive of because I believed his daughter deserved to have her father in her life). They had brought my children over for "playdates" at the park ( none of the children including his daughter knows he's her father because well its been years since shes seen him I think she was 2 and her mother has been with another man whom she has other children with so she thinks thats her dad) and lunch at her house which I felt extremly uncomfortable with but didnt say anything because I knew this meant alot to him and well now our children are BFFs. I have a part-time job at Target (would love more hours but they just dont want to give them up),I am involved in the PTA, and I am the Representative of our school district in the head start policy committee, and had just enrolled into college for CNA courses so I can have a career and be able to better provide for my family. So all this has been quite heartbreaking for me. My biggest problem right now? He was the main breadwinner, he makes WAY more money than I do even though he pays out the ass for his daughter in child support,arrears,and child care. I'm not going to be able to afford our apartment without him and i'm not the type of person to sponge off the government but I do realize they have these programs for people in need of help (like myself?) but i know they wont be able to help me with my apartment/bills and even if they would my landlord doesn't accept government help. So i'm pretty sure i'm going to have to go to a homeless shelter and get help (My aunt was homeless once with my little cousins so i know that for families they put them up in hotels and such until you can find an apartment but they make you take any apartment they can find..even the ghetto). I never expected this to happen and i thought we were fine but since obviously I was quite wrong about that my next fear is him taking my children from me. Although i honestly dont think he will...who knows anymore. I know that in NYS (where I live) if there is no custody paper filed that if he took them for a weekend..he wouldn't have to bring them back because there is no custody established. I want to go to family court asap and file but im not sure what im even filing for? Sole physcial custody? joint? I have never had to do this before so I have no idea what the difference is between all these..2nd problem even thought his is going to be super hard for me by myself what should I do for my children? Should I get them in counseling? They are 7,5,and 3..but i dont see them taking this news so great. How are they gonna feel when they realize we have to move away from their school and friends, theyre whole life is going to be different, and Daddy and Mommy arnt together anymore but now they're new BFF's Mommy is with him? That Daddy moved in with theyre new BFF? I dont know if they'll be mad at me, or him, or her, or their new BFF. This is a horrible situation and i'm really upset that hes doing this to my children this way. I almost want to tell him that if hes going to take the kids for visits NOT to bring them there or not let them know thats where your staying. what should i do in this situation? and what do i file for?Answer Question
Asked by Anonymous at 10:27 AM on Jun. 21, 2012 in Relationships
Answer by LostSoul88 at 10:37 AM on Jun. 21, 2012
Answer by layh41407 at 10:41 AM on Jun. 21, 2012
Answer by LostSoul88 at 10:43 AM on Jun. 21, 2012
Answer by fiatpax at 10:44 AM on Jun. 21, 2012
Answer by ohwrite at 10:52 AM on Jun. 21, 2012
Answer by macbudsmom at 11:05 AM on Jun. 21, 2012
Answer by kimigogo at 11:14 AM on Jun. 21, 2012
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