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What do I tell my 15 year old niece who just had sex?

My brother wants me to talk to her. We dont know if shes preggo or not, she won't take any tests. But geez! A 15 year old! I need all imput! Thanks you guys, I don't want to be the aunt who can't help her through this stuff...

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Almostmom

Asked by Almostmom at 11:39 AM on Jan. 31, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Level 2 (9 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • Without accusing, which would cause her to stop listening, just talk about birth control and STD's. She knows other girls her age have sex. Tell her of the problems of having a baby at this age (yes I know there are some wonderful moms on here who had babies at that age and did fine, but if the young woman doesn't believe that it can happen to her she might not be ready.) Ask her why she chose to have sex. Ask her if she understands how easy it is to get pregnant and that STDs, including AIDs are nothing to mess with. Talk of her taking the pill or whatever contraception she wants PLUS a condom because of the chance of infection. Tell her it is an adult decision to have sex and if she is choosing this then she must have an adult attitude toward protection.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 11:47 AM on Jan. 31, 2009

  • Talk to her about the fact that she has made an adult decision so she needs to be mature about it. Talk to her about the importance of protecting herself from disease & pregnancy. Tell her if she has had unprotected sex she will have to check to make sure she didn't get pregnant or get an STD with a check up & offer to take her to PP or the local health department. I would also tell her that now that she has made this decision she can choose to continue to have sex or wait as long as she wants to have sex again. I would definately talk to her about the emotional issues involved (how will she feel if the guy she had sex with stops calling her, how does she feel about her family knowing she had sex, etc). Try not to be too judgemental, you all may wish she had waited but it is done so now the emphasis should be on handling it with maturity.
    nysa00

    Answer by nysa00 at 11:51 AM on Jan. 31, 2009

  • Just a question if she is pregnant is it a problem? Just askin cause im a teen mom, it wasnt her best choice if she is but her life isnt over so dont make her think it is.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:25 PM on Jan. 31, 2009

  • Not really, partly because she has a college bank account. She wants to be Vet. We have everything almost ready. JUst we dont know which college... someone would have to take care of the babay
    Almostmom

    Answer by Almostmom at 12:31 PM on Jan. 31, 2009

  • Remind her of consequences that come with "accidents" and how her life would be seriously altered if she did get pregnant but try to be supportive. At least she is not 12 or 13. How did your brother find out?
    oahoah

    Answer by oahoah at 2:08 PM on Jan. 31, 2009

  • The boys' mom found out and told my brother...
    almostmommy01

    Answer by almostmommy01 at 2:34 PM on Jan. 31, 2009

  • Thats what she told me a while ago.
    almostmommy01

    Answer by almostmommy01 at 2:35 PM on Jan. 31, 2009

  • First tell her how lucky she is to have the dad that she has. My dad would have just murdered me or locked me in my room. Period lol. I'd first ask her what she knows about diseases and birth control. After you hear her perception of sex, you can correct any nutty things she's picked up from friends and fill in the blanks. That way, she'll also feel more a part of the conversation rather than just being lectured to. All babies are welcome into this world and are blessings regardless of their mom's age. That being said, there are things she'll have to give up if she has a baby this young. Will her body bounce right back? Will she have stretch marks? Will she have a babysitter? Will she be able to finish high school (some schools don't allow pregnant students to attend)? Will she miss school due to being pregnant and get held back? Does she KNOW that she wants this boyfriend in her life forever?
    NovemberLove

    Answer by NovemberLove at 4:47 PM on Jan. 31, 2009

  • (cont.) whether they would get married or not, having a kid with someone means they're going to be in your life. What friends and activities will she have to give up because of caring for a baby? Is it fair to her family for them to have to be financially responsible for the baby while she goes to college? I'm 23 and married and I can tell you there are things I have to give up now that I'm a mother. I can't imagine doing this while still in high school. Those are ALL things to consider when considering contraception and safe-sex. STDs are also nothing to sneeze at. good luck!
    NovemberLove

    Answer by NovemberLove at 4:49 PM on Jan. 31, 2009

  • I was 14 the first time I had sex. Luckily for me I am married to the same person I lost it to, but I know that is very rare. I got pregnant at 16, went through almost my entire junior year of high school pregnant and had my daughter a few days before my senior year started. I wanted so badly to finish up at the high school but I didn't have anyone to watch my daughter so I had to go to the alternative school where Icould bring her with me. There were a TON of things I had to give up.. pretty much all of my friends, my body, my high school. I am not complaining or wanting anyone to feel sorry for me. I am just saying that you should share things like this with her before it happens to her. Remind her that not only is it financially challenging to have a baby, it affects ALL aspects of your life. You think your friends will stick with you but you just don't relate anymore. Well I hope you the best of luck!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:11 PM on Jan. 31, 2009

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