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What should my 12 year old be doing?

My son has no interests. He plays baseball but thats it. He has no friends. Everytime I ask to invite someone along or over he says no. When I ask why he says I don't know. He is very smart but does not apply himself. He of course likes video games but I have Limited play to an hour a day. He would play all day and night! How do I get him involved in other things? What are some activities that other kids do? I hope someone can help me. I am clueless as to what to do.


Asked by yldflwr at 12:02 PM on Jan. 31, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 5 (99 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (23)
  • Such great answers! When it comes to getting out and active in sports, interests or hobbies, just make sure you give him options. My boys would always choose to do nothing. I often introduce new activities, hobbies, ect. They get to choose what they like best, if they don't choose I do. (They usually come up with something!) My boys know they need to exercise every day. On days when they just want to sit around playing video games they know they need to be active for 1 hour first. They don't have to exercise, but if they don't, they don't get to watch tv or play video games either. Sounds like you are attentive and involved. Thats what he needs most!

    Answer by jerseycow at 10:37 AM on Feb. 1, 2009

  • Has your son always been like this or is a recent thing? If it's recent perhaps something has happened to put him off wanting to be social. If it's been an ongoing thing then maybe your son is just not socially inept and prone to wanting to be a recluse. Try to enroll him in smore psorts and don't give him the option to play, try pushing the social scene on him, maybe he is just insecure in it so he avoids it.

    Answer by bubblycute at 12:12 PM on Jan. 31, 2009

  • My son was the same way at 12 and still is a 16, I just gave up trying to get him involved in things and realized that as long as he seems happy, then he'll be ok.

    Answer by staceynoel at 12:13 PM on Jan. 31, 2009

  • My children have thrived and made a lot of friends here:

    They just had to find their passion and find others with the same passion.

    Also, do you have a Boys and Girls Club in your area? That is an excellent place to get out and make friends in a safe environment.


    Answer by GoddessLily at 12:16 PM on Jan. 31, 2009

  • There is a young mens organization call Demolay International that really get boys involved at this age so there out with other kids there age and not just being a home body you might want to look into it.

    I was involved in the sister organization called Jobs Daughters and I know that it helped me alot! Goodluck!!

    Answer by ArmyWife112908 at 12:21 PM on Jan. 31, 2009

  • My son played video games a lot when he was that age. That's normal (but can be annoying to a parent). He didn't need to hang out with a ton of kids. He was pretty content entertaining himself or hanging with just one friend. I used to think that was odd because my daughter was very social. My son finally said to me one day, I don't need A LOT of friends, I just need one or two GOOD ONES. He was right. Sometimes we try to mold our kids into what WE THINK they should be or what they should be doing (I was guilty of that). Ask your son WHAT HE IS INTERESTED IN. If he is spending too much time doing video games, tell he must pick one other activity (which he gets to choose) and do it. Maybe if it is not a physical activity like school sports...what about coin collecting, wood carving, building a model car, a job like walking the neighbors dog or shoveling snow.

    Answer by momjs at 12:24 PM on Jan. 31, 2009

  • I would contact the school counselor and make sure he's ok at school to see what they observe. How are his grades etc. He sounds like there is something holding him back. I certainly hope it's just a growing stage thing vs something of an issue he's dealing with. That being said, contact your local parks and recreation they should have low cost adventures for kids especially come spring and summer. In our area they have a rec-room specially made for the teens with video games, pool tables, foosball, and a swimming pool, a rock climbing wall etc.

    Answer by massagegiftmom at 12:30 PM on Jan. 31, 2009

  • Continued: I would see about getting him on a little league baseball team come spring/summer since it is a interest of his. You could also take him winter time to the indoor batting cages and let him practice for fun. You can't force him to pick friends, but maybe if he spends enough time outside school he may develop friends on his own. I think he might also like photography or art? He might enjoy writing or more quiet things. Something to help his self esteem may be personal or family as a whole volunteering as another idea to get him more sociallized and out of his shell perhaps? PM me if you have more Q.


    Answer by massagegiftmom at 12:36 PM on Jan. 31, 2009

  • Hmm, I have a nephew like that. First I would rule out deppression. Then I would try like crazy to get to know the parents of the boys he befriends and try to encourage them to get-together for movies, game playing etc. Make it so that they can interact, however, making certain you are not hovering over them. Give him some space & he will come around. Is his father involved in his life? Or an uncle? Most boys @ this age are still discovering who they are and tend to become somewhat of introverts/aloof. See if he is open to joining other sports/clubs after school. Any extra curricular activity after school will surely help. Help him through this it could just be he is @ an awkward stage and feels it necessary to be this way just as a form of not letting his guard down, a shield if you will. He might be more the type that friendship is best if it's more the quality
    & not the quantity,hence, less is more.

    Answer by Bellafleurs at 12:37 PM on Jan. 31, 2009

  • Have you tried scouts? My 13 yr old son doesnt anything to do with scouts unles they're doing something fun!

    Answer by MarGeee at 12:51 PM on Jan. 31, 2009