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3 Bumps

Do you think this was wrong of me?

I have been receiving CS for 15 yrs. my ex continued paying for 2 kids (same amount) after our oldest turned 18. He did get behind awhile back (for about 1 yr.) I thought he was going to keep paying after the youngest turned 18. Well I usually receive a check every 2 weeks our youngest turned 18 this past May. 3 wks later I text him and asked him if he mailed out a check for me bc I hadn't received anything...he text back and said no I am done with CS then he decides to call me to talk about this and tells me he has talked to his lawyer and he said he could stop paying especially now that the last child is 18. (the lawyer calculated everything and said actually you have overpaid but if you want to continue to pay its up to you, once the youngest turns 18 you can stop) I'm like well you know (Jennifer20) will be needing new tires and a new AC and (Michael18) will be needing tires as well.
I guess I did not know how to handle the news (no more CS) so I just sort of threw that in, he was like well if I can help them I will they have never done without. besides its time for them to stand on their own 2 feet they are adults now but if they need something I'm there. (they got low paying jobs but hey it's a start)
Venting...what else can I do or say :/

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:15 AM on Jun. 22, 2012 in Adult Children (18+)

Answers (13)
  • If he's caught up,he doesn't have to continue paying you child support
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 11:17 AM on Jun. 22, 2012

  • Yeah, it sounds like he doesn't have to pay any more CS. But, he should still be there for his children & helping them out directly if they need it.
    3libras

    Answer by 3libras at 11:19 AM on Jun. 22, 2012

  • Very few people receive child support after age 18, usually when if there is more than one child, when the oldest turns 18, the child support drops to a lower amount, then when the youngest turns 18 it ends.

    I agree that it would be nice if he helped his kids out directly if they need something, but he doesn't owe anymore.
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 11:25 AM on Jun. 22, 2012

  • When my kids were given cars or upgraded they knew that once they graduated higschool, repairs-maintenance etc was up to them. If its is a hazard then I would fron them the money but they would pay it back. No one is out there buying me new tires and I have driven many years with no air in my car.

    He has every right to stop support and your children now that they are grown need to be the ones to ask him for help not you. If he says no, you need to stay out of it.
    luvmygrandbaby

    Answer by luvmygrandbaby at 11:37 AM on Jun. 22, 2012

  • nothing, your kids are adults if they need something its their responsability not yours or dads. if they need something so bad, and since they have jobs(i assume they live with you rent free) they know how to make money, and what to do to make more(which is for them to get a better job or a second one) dad says he will help if they need it, but it sounds like they need to go to him to ask not have you ask, plea, or demand
    flowersmama

    Answer by flowersmama at 11:54 AM on Jun. 22, 2012

  • if no one will help or can help, & their cars are inoperable the city bus is always there, and what ever happened to those two things attached to the end of those limbs located at the bottom of the body that so many spend so much money putting the latest shoes on? they were originally designed to walk & run not push down on peddles... oh yeah and there is the bike too, just cause they are not 10 anymore doesnt mean they cant afford a bike to use in a tight pinch. & if you only know how to get around using freeways google maps can help you see easy walking/biking routes
    flowersmama

    Answer by flowersmama at 12:02 PM on Jun. 22, 2012

  • Now it is he who decides how much if any he provides to his children. They need to start being self supportive.
    meooma

    Answer by meooma at 12:04 PM on Jun. 22, 2012

  • It sounds like your kids need to learn to take some responsibility. They are 18 and it sounds like he was being more than fair, I don't see how it comes as much of shock that he stopped paying child support.
    Melbornj

    Answer by Melbornj at 12:36 PM on Jun. 22, 2012

  • Sounds to me like you're getting a little greedy. He is done. He doesn't need to offer a dime more. If he chooses to help out your children in specialized circumstances, that is his prerogative. However, they are all adults. It is time to learn to stand on their own. I agree with your Ex on this one.
    theMOMmission

    Answer by theMOMmission at 1:47 PM on Jun. 22, 2012

  • BTW, I think it was really nice of him to continue paying child support on your eldest even after 18.
    theMOMmission

    Answer by theMOMmission at 1:47 PM on Jun. 22, 2012

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