Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

My 5 year old just started going "to the bathroom" in his pants.

I love Dakotah soo much he's been my pride and joy since he was born. He is such a great kid, always polite, does what he's asked, even cleans his room with no complaint!I can not believe how good a boy he is, seriously.The thing I need help with is this. I am 5 weeks away from having a baby with an awesome man,who treats Dakotah great.They get along soo well, and he even calls Leon his dad to others. But lately, Dakotah has started peeing and yes, even no. 2 in his clothes. I have tried everything from getting really mad to giving him the silent treatment (in case it was for attention).I DON"T KNOW HOW TO MAKE IT STOP! He started this a couple of weeks before christmas and I'm going insane.I don't think it's because of the baby he's so excited and can't wait to be a big bro..In 5 weeks I will be giving birth! Leon works away,gone 2 weeks home 1.So I'm pratically living like a single mother. Please help me end this madness....

Answer Question

Asked by whiterose29 at 2:04 PM on Jan. 31, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • Sometimes when kids start doing this out of the blue, there's something very serious going on. Investigate who is spending time with your son. No matter how nice or charming people can be, you can still be deceived. Don't let ANYONE be alone with your son for several weeks and see if the accidents stop. And if I were you, I would take him to see a doctor. Better safe than sorry. Don't be that mom that after the fact said "Oh, I never thought he/she would do something like that. I wish I would have done something sooner!"
    (I know I sound like a really paranoid person, but these days you really really gotta look out for your kids. All kinds of sick twisted people out there!!!)

    BTW, have you asked your son why he's having accidents?

    Answer by lisa-n-lexxx at 2:29 PM on Jan. 31, 2009

  • My son did this when we moved. His little world was completely dumped upside down, and he reverted just a bit. While I agree with the PP that you need to check to make sure he's not being abused or hurt, I think that you might be dealing with something similar here. You're having a baby. That's a huge change for your son, something he didn't ask for and has no control over.

    With my son, I simply made him responsible for his accidents. When he had one, he needed to change himself, put his soiled clothes to soak, and tell me about it (so I wouldn't overlook the dirties when I did laundry). If he had enough accidents in a day to merit a full load of clothes, he had to help with every step of the laundry. If he went a whole day with no accidents, he got a small reward. If you give your son the control over this, he might move through this stage more easily.

    Answer by May-20 at 2:45 PM on Jan. 31, 2009

  • Talk to him about you getting ready to have the baby. A lot of kids do this when there is a new baby. Make sure he's not feeling like he is going to be replaced, or pushed away. I know you said that he is way excited, but this is still going to be a change, and the change might be what he is having the problem with.

    Answer by DixieRoadrash at 5:25 PM on Jan. 31, 2009

  • Maybe your son is so use to being a people pleaser, he can not tell you what is worrying him, he seems like he really does not like to do the wrong thing. Sometimes anxieties are expresses in unexpected and different ways. My son went through this when he started full day kindergarden. I first had thoughts he was getting abused, but it was my sons expression of his anxiety about being away from me, having to do the work in school. (he had a tough teacher) and I had just had a new baby, and he wanted some attention. Did your son start kindergarden yet? Could that be a cause? Also, new babies on the way are always stressors even if the child is pro-baby.

    Answer by moebonner at 9:53 PM on Feb. 2, 2009

  • Thank you everyone for your thoughts and ideas.I'm just at my rope's end right now.As for someone hurting him,I believe that is completely out of the question tho,since it's 90 percent of the time he's with only me,and we live in a town where we don't know anyone at all.The more I think about it I do believe it is probably because of the baby.Ever since he was born, it's just basically been me and Dakotah.We're best friends and he tells me everyday.This baby WILL be a MAJOR change for him, you're right,and yes,he did start Gr K this year,and even besides all that his grandfather(my dad)passed away in September,and even tho he didn't get to spend much time with him,he was my Dad's little"dodge" as he called him.He's just going through so much right now.I do feel sorry for him, I just need him to stop doing this. I just hope he stops soon.I've tried the cleaning up after himself thing too. I have run out of ideas.

    Answer by whiterose29 at 7:49 AM on Feb. 5, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.