Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Not agreeing on second baby! What do I do?

My husband and I have been happily married for over 6 years and have a 3 year old daughter! I would like to have another baby because I grew up with a sister and can't imagine my daughter nor having a sibling. I am a SAHM and there are days where I wonder if i could handle another baby but I just don't want to look back and regret not having another one. And then i think what if something would happen to my daughter, what if my daughter can't / doesn't want to have kids and I wouldn't get to experience being a grandparent! My husband does not want the extra stress, he is impatient but he is a very good dad! he was 13 when his sister was born so he was pretty much an only child so he doesn't understand the whole sibling thing! We have never argued and this is just killing me! What do I do???????

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:50 PM on Jan. 31, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • You can't force your husband to change his mind. He's either on board, or if force, will want to jump ship when the new baby comes. Give it some time. My first and second are ten years apart and just adore each other. If you want a wonderful outcome, let it come when you're both ready to fully commit.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:10 PM on Jan. 31, 2009

  • I wouldn't push it. He is likely to change his mind, but if he doesn't, you should accept his decision.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 4:07 PM on Jan. 31, 2009

  • I would definitely pray about it. You don't want to force this on him but I know exactly how you feel about wanting more children and your spouse not being on board. I have two children and would love to have more but my husband isn't on board yet.
    lil_angel00

    Answer by lil_angel00 at 4:09 PM on Jan. 31, 2009

  • You still have time .Just enjoy what you have now he may change his mind and he may not but don't force the issue because it may make it worse. Maybe for him it would be extra stress, and that isn't good for a marriage.
    Kat122

    Answer by Kat122 at 4:36 PM on Jan. 31, 2009

  • I have been through this but he did not want one with me as he had one with an ex girlfriend that put him through sooo much crap it was not even funny. This is a case where sadly one of you is going to lose..you both can't get your way. I would try to have a calm heart to heart with him and tell him just what it would mean to you. It took me 2 yrs of asking and then 2 yrs of trying before we had our sons. We have 6 all together and my kids love being part of a big family. I would not know what to do without my brother and sister.
    salexander

    Answer by salexander at 5:10 PM on Jan. 31, 2009

  • Just give him some time. I know how you feel though. I always thought "What if something happened to me and my husband; who would understand the pain our son felt? Who would share that burden with him and who would be able to help him move on?" Obviously, a sibling would be able to do all of that and vice versa.

    I wanted another baby before our son had his first birthday. My husband was not ready and told me he was quite happy with just one and felt no need to ever have more children...ever! Well, I waited and just kept bringing it up here and there and a year later my husband was finally on board and we started trying for number two. I could've gotten pregnant at any point during that year if I had wanted to, but I really wanted him to want another child too before we had one. I'm due in March, so soon we'll get to experience life with two precious babies and my son will get to have a little sister!
    MommyToSmeech

    Answer by MommyToSmeech at 5:40 PM on Jan. 31, 2009

  • you wait until he is ready to have more kids....
    AmaliaD

    Answer by AmaliaD at 5:49 PM on Jan. 31, 2009

  • I told my husband when we were married that I wanted at least 2 kids (two pregnancies). We had twins first, and he thought we we done. However, I felt like there was another child I was going to know. I also wanted to experience pregnancy more than once and told him not having another child was like telling me God put me on earth to do this job, and I was unable to accomplish it. Then I told him, I'm HAVING another child, whether it's yours or someone elses. We now have our youngest son, who's five, that my husband adores, and would not want it any other way. My hands are now full, I'm always busy, but now I don't feel like there's another person I'm suppose to be bringing into this world, and our family feels complete.
    bowdentribe

    Answer by bowdentribe at 6:03 PM on Jan. 31, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN