Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Update on (child adopted by family member)

The child knows she is adopted, she does not know who her bio mom is, so the question still remains who and when should the child have that info. Bio mom and grandmother are starting to have a real hard time with the fact that this child does know how she is actually related to them.


Asked by Anonymous at 3:50 PM on Jan. 31, 2009 in Adoption

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • I think that if she is old enough to understand that she i adopted then she is old enough to know who her Bio mom is

    Answer by MrsCarlton at 3:52 PM on Jan. 31, 2009

  • my friend nicolle and her brother were adopted by their aunt. they both know, im not sure when they found out i could ask for you.

    Answer by aliciatron at 3:58 PM on Jan. 31, 2009

  • My son is almost one year and he will always know that his cousin is his brith father and his aunt and uncle are his birthgrandparents.

    Answer by gemcat at 8:36 PM on Jan. 31, 2009

  • I despise answering ANON. , questions, because if it were serious, I see no reason to not post your name.....'KIND OF A ANTAGONISTIC TYPE POST"....however, I am inclined to do so, because I am a Mom, and a Firstmom. Any and ALL children deserve the right to know who they are from day one. Our duty to an innocent miracle from GOD, is to always be honest with them. So to answer your question, from day one, let them know what miracle they are, and their parnets loved them, but were unable to care for them the way they deserved, and they wanted to find someone whom loved them the same as they did...that is why , you have been blessed to become their parent...go from there......C.J.

    Answer by ceejay1 at 9:34 PM on Jan. 31, 2009

  • C.J. I think you may have missed the original post. The child is 14, knows she's adopted, they just didn't tell her who her BM was, probably trying to keep her from being confused growing up. It sorta sounds from your response that you are upset with AP's, but this AP is a family member. I am not trying to sound harsh, but your response changes the whole tone of the answers. JMHO, And people post ANON, because they want information w/o being known or judged.

    Answer by doodlebopfan at 12:33 AM on Feb. 1, 2009

  • The sooner the better.

    Answer by onethentwins at 2:57 PM on Feb. 1, 2009

  • Thank you C.J. you are abosolutely right on with what you stated and I do apologize for hiding but it's just that I don't know anyone here yet as I am still fairly new to this sight. I appreciate all who answer and when I get to know a few of the ladies here I will be more than happy to tell the whole story and not Anon. Thanks to all of you again.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:52 AM on Feb. 2, 2009

  • Same goes for doodlebopfan

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:04 AM on Feb. 2, 2009

  • I'm so glad to hear that the fact that she is adopted is not news. (I saw the first post) When to explain it to her is her A parents decision. The Bmom and B grandmother need to wait until the groundwork is laid. They can't just spring it on her. Hopefully the A parents will start leading her to discussions such as do you want to know why you were adopted, have you ever wanted to meet your B mom, etc. This might just have a happy ending (transition)

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:14 PM on Feb. 2, 2009