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HOW TO TELL THEM

i moved my parents down here in june 2007 to get outa of chicago and help with my kids...my parents wanted to get away from the city and be apart of their grand babies lives so i let them move in with me until they could support theirselves here we are 2009 they ruined my house cause they cant take care of anything they dont help with the bills like they said they would they spend all their money and beer and god knows what else..so know im in collections for things they had in my name..they use my car when they want and dont put gas in it..im so aggravated and pissed i feel so used now i just want them out but i want to b nice about it...what do i do...

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:19 PM on Jan. 31, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (9)
  • Sit down and give them a time period to move out.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 7:20 PM on Jan. 31, 2009

  • Thats a touch situation, usually it's the parents kicking the kids out. hehe. I would sit down and have a chat with them first, let them know that you expect more from them or you will have to send them on their way.
    smnice

    Answer by smnice at 7:21 PM on Jan. 31, 2009

  • Wow. I think the time for niceties is over.
    TiccledBlue

    Answer by TiccledBlue at 7:22 PM on Jan. 31, 2009

  • I Would Have A Talk With Them
    Kari_Noelle

    Answer by Kari_Noelle at 7:23 PM on Jan. 31, 2009

  • The first thing that really stands out to me is you being in collections for things they had in your name, there's something wrong with that, they shouldn't have anything in your name, it should be in theirs and they should be paying it. After that, I would explain that you're not there to support them and either have them help you out financially or get out of your house.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:24 PM on Jan. 31, 2009

  • i know i didnt have cable when they got here and they wanted it so i said u pay it and ill have it turned on so i did then they stopped payin now im in collections for it
    mizzmala

    Answer by mizzmala at 7:30 PM on Jan. 31, 2009

  • I agree about talking to them. I would make a list first, of all the problems they have caused for you, and the financial issue they have created...include amounts so they can see what this is doing to you. Then tell them what you expect and a (reasonable) amount of time to be out by. Let them know that your car is off limits, unless they pay you in advance the amount for a full tank of gas at the time they ask/ prior to taking the car.
    Good luck setting those boundaries.
    indigostone

    Answer by indigostone at 7:37 PM on Jan. 31, 2009

  • That's a hard one. Sounds like it's time for some "tough love". Kick them out. Tell them they have 30 days and they either have to straighten up or they have to go. And stick to it. Explain to them that you love them and don't want to do this, but you cannot continue to neglect your responsibilities to take care of them. They are NOT your children, they are your parents and they should start acting like it!!
    drowninginboys

    Answer by drowninginboys at 9:10 AM on Feb. 1, 2009

  • You can be mature about it but don't set yourself up by wanting to be "nice". You are telling them you want them out! Sounds like they had some bad habits before they moved in with you. Sit them down in private and let them know you love them and you are glad they are closer to you and the kids. It's time to make plans to fullfill the agreement you had before they came down. Decide ahead of time your absolute non negotiables and how far you will go with other things. For instance, you decide the absolute longest you will give them to get out. Will you give them a month's rent to help them? Will you expect them to pay for what they owe? I would hold onto the keys and let them know the car is off limits unless they are looking for a place to stay, jobs etc. If you know what YOU want, you will stand firm if and when they try to manipulate you and make you feel guilty. Keep in touch if you need support through it.
    happi-ladi

    Answer by happi-ladi at 9:14 AM on Feb. 1, 2009

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