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how can i stop my son from being

angry when he comes home from a weekend with his dad he is 7 and he misses me and his dad will only let me speak to him once frm friday 330 till sunday at 6pm and only between 6-7pm hepelp

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:22 PM on Jan. 31, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (5)
  • Its normal and an adjustment is all. If youre allowed by court order to call your son then call when you want and when the ex says no take him to court for contempt. If you dont have anything in the order about calls go back to court and have it added. Take your son to counseling if hes angry because it is probably not you or the dad per say but just the situations. Some kids cant hanfle joint custody.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:23 PM on Jan. 31, 2009

  • You need to put your feelings aside and realize that as much as you need time with your son, so does his dad. Quality, one-on-one, GUY time. You need to realize that you ARE NOT going to talk with him unless it is an emergency.

    Yes, it's hard to hear. Yes, you will think I am being mean. However, his dad has every right to ask you NOT to interfere with his visitation. By wanting to talk to your son on his DAD'S time, you are undermining the father's authority. This causes stress in the children because the PARENT is stressed.

    I have been a custodial stepmom for over 10 years. I am the primary caregiver for my two bonus sons (18 and 20, now). It broke my heart every weekend when they went to their mom's but DH and I NEVER INTERFERED with her time. Encourage GUY time. Talk to your son. Get excited about him having a GUY weekend with his dad. If he sees you are okay with him going, it will help him realize it's okay
    Gypsy98

    Answer by Gypsy98 at 7:41 PM on Jan. 31, 2009

  • He picks up on your stress and anxiety about him leaving. It makes him think he has to choose who he loves more. Don't do that. Realize that you and his dad love him unconditionally. He just has the added bonus of two houses that can be filled with love and safety.

    Put together a guy-weekend bag. Movies, games, a Captain Underpants book! (gross and hilarious) Stuff that he and his dad can do together. Don't use any of those in your house. He can pick one thing to take to Dad's and make it special.

    Send him off with a smile and a hug. Tell him you hope he has a great weekend with his dad. While he is gone you get to pamper yourself. We all know 7 y/o little boys can be exhausting at times. Sit down and read a book from start to finish. Take a bath! SHAVE YOUR LEGS all at once...things we moms have to plan on in advance.

    When he gets home, hug him. Ask about his weekend. Get excited about what he did. Smile
    Gypsy98

    Answer by Gypsy98 at 7:47 PM on Jan. 31, 2009

  • It sounds like to me that his father is telling your son many bad,but untrue things about you.Which he is only being imature.Try taking your son to see a physchologist.I wouldn't tell his father about it.It is not fair for you to call your son while he is visiting with his father,as that is their time together.When your son comes home from his visit,let him tell you all about his time with his father.
    Jeffsmom87

    Answer by Jeffsmom87 at 12:00 AM on Feb. 1, 2009

  • Jeffsmom87, how can you get from her basic overview that her ex is telling her son bad and untrue things? Just because her son is upset when he comes home does not mean he is being subjected to PAS (parent alienation syndrome). If anything, clingy-ness can do the same thing.

    With him being only 7, he doesn't know how to vent his frustration so he gets mad. Automatically assuming that the father is evil and horrible shows that you may have some issues yourself.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:37 PM on Feb. 1, 2009

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