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3 Bumps

Could we have gotten screwed over by cosigning for bail? **UPDATE**

Dh's bioson, 20, has had fairly extreme behavior issues since he was 9. His biomom lied about who the real father was and raised him out of state with another guy she'd named kid after and married until kid was 10 and out of control, and violent. That was when she allowed dh into kid's life. Kid spent time in juvenile hall, group homes, etc.

kid currently collects social security and gets some from dh (who is on social security disability due to a back injury several years ago). While I disagree with kid recieving disability (because he was working as a security guard until he got approved and now won't work at all) , I realize it is out of my hands.

Today we get a call from kids older half-brother (who is a jerk) wanting dh to cosign for bail. He had dh speak to two different bails bondsmen trying to get approved to cosign. I came home to dh on the phone trying to are the issues I have with it.

1) We are a family with a very low income, I am unemployed with my unemployment about to run out-if I end up on cash aid I am going back to school to finish up my bachelors.

2)if half-brother thought it was such a wonderful idea to bail kid out, then HE should have come up with the money--it isn't right for him to pressure dh into doing this.

3)kid should not have been calling dad begging him to get out-kid is well aware of our financial situation and he should not ask us to take on this burden. As far as I know, NOBODY was calling kids mother to try and bail him out-and she's the person most responsible for kid being the way he is.

4)biggest reason--if kid doesn't fulfill his responsibilites we could get royally screwed financially-and we can barely afford to make ends meet as it is.

5)kid does not work for a living-the only disadvantage to him being in jail for a few days is boredom and inconvenience. There is no really urgent reason he must be out now, now, now.

P.S. kid is in jail for domestic violence (I think) a former girlfriend accused him of hitting her. He had called dh earlier and said he had to call the cops on her b/c she was banging on his door. He says he didn't hit her and idk personally-I could see him hitting her AND not....apparently this girl is violent.

Anyone have experience with bail or how it works? Thoughts? Sorry so long...his bail to get him out is $1000 and his total bail is $10,000.

 **UPDATE** Dh is getting nonstop calls this morning from kid, half-brother or both (dh says kid but when he picked up the phone it was half-brother-dh is half asleep so idk-maybe both are calling). When I let dh know we'd be signing up for a $1000 bill dh goes well "HE'D pay-HE'D pay us back." (well if that's really true we shouldn't need to cosign at all should we??? Idk if I trust kid to do that and told dh-"he'd probably come up with excuses why he couldn't and we'd be screwed out of $1000!" Does kid in jail get held liable at all for this debt, or is it just us???

Answer Question

Asked by purplerobin at 3:55 AM on Jun. 26, 2012 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 19 (6,473 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • Yes, you can get screwed over.
    If you cosign, and he doesnt show up for court, YOU will be responsible for the 10,000. You sign withthe bailbondsman, pay the 1000, and the bondsman put up the other 9,000. If he jumps bail and fails to appear, you will be responsible for the 9,000.
    If you dont trust him, DONT do it. YOU will get screwed over, AND they will find him and rearrest him for jumping bail.

    Answer by Mme.Langley at 4:50 AM on Jun. 26, 2012

  • What is the best way to explain this to dh without looking like a coldhearted bitch?

    Comment by purplerobin (original poster) at 4:55 AM on Jun. 26, 2012

  • Show him the numbers:
    BAIL: $10,000
    BOND (TO GET HIM OUT): $1,000


    If you cant afford an extra $9,000 out of your pocket, and you dont trust him, its not worth it. Because in the end YOU will suffer and your family will, while he sits in jail.

    Explain that although you want to help him, you cannot risk putting your family at risk for someone who cannot be trusted to act appropriately. How does DH know for sure he will show up in court? Unless you can keep him chained at your house, and escort him to court yourselves, you are taking a $10,000 gamble.
    Hope it helps


    Answer by Mme.Langley at 5:01 AM on Jun. 26, 2012

  • Yep you will get screwed. Most of the time cosigning for anything is a bad idea. (there are times when cosigning is a great thing to do and is very helpful to who you are doing it for) this case however, you can get screwed.

    Answer by meooma at 7:04 AM on Jun. 26, 2012

  • I would not cosign for someone like you describe. I love my kids dearly, and I would certainly want to help if one of them were in trouble, but if I honestly didn't trust him, I would just tell him I'm sorry, but I can't risk what (particularly in your case) is pretty much everything. That's too big a risk.

    I also would have to consider why he was in jail and if I believed he'd actually done whatever it was. If he was in for rape, domestic violence, murder, etc., I'd have to really consider whether I thought he'd done it, and if I did think he'd done it...I don't know that I'd get him out. Definitely a lot of risk he'd run there. If it was a DUI or something really stupid, I might get him out just so *I* could kick his butt for being so damn stupid.

    Answer by wendythewriter at 7:28 AM on Jun. 26, 2012

  • Let him get an atty. Under the circumstances he should get a Public Defender. The atty may even be able to get him out on his own recognizance.

    In my state when you are OR you check in weekly and have regular drug and alcohol screenings. Additionally the judge may stipulate a mental health evaluation. It sounds as if this would be a better option for the son as opposed to just bailing him out.

    You should be able to contact the Public Defenders office or Court Services for the information.

    On a side note- if he is innocent- under no circumstances should he accept a plea agreement unless there is the option to have the incident EXPUNGED (key word).

    Answer by feralxat at 9:27 AM on Jun. 26, 2012

  • Most jails are so overcrowded they will most likely end up releasing him on his own---but not for awhile, I have a dear friend who's son got really involved with prescription drugs,, to make a very long story short, they had already gotten him out of so much hot water, they let him stay in the jail the last time he was picked up, it took about 2 weeks, but he was released on his own will. $10,000 is a pretty high bail, so the girl must have been injured, or if she did it to herself, then they will investigate and most likely drop the charges. If you don't have $10,000 in assests to put up, it is doubtful that they will let you co-sign on an out of state bond. I would tell your husband that the bondsman won't qualify you either (due to no job). It sounds like your husband has already been denied?
    I would call the 1/2 brother yourself and say they will not approve you, unless you are 100% sure the kid will show for court.

    Answer by kimigogo at 9:39 AM on Jun. 26, 2012

  • PS- You will not get the $1,000 you put up back, that is the bondsman's fee for putting up the other $9,000. Sorry about all of this, it might do him good to spend some time thinking about where he could end up if his behavior continues. I am glad to say that my friend's son DID realize he needed to straighten up after spending 2 weeks in the county jail.

    Answer by kimigogo at 9:42 AM on Jun. 26, 2012

  • There is also a fee that you don't get back for using a Bail Bond.

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 10:52 AM on Jun. 26, 2012

  • @kimi-it's an in-state...biomom moved him to the same state at age 10.

    Am I right to feel irritated at half-brother and kid for wanting us to do this in the first place? I personally feel that they had no right to ask us to take on a $1,000 or possibly more, debt. If kid can have the money taken out for himself, HE can do it-same for half brother. I knew this call would most likely cme someday, it just came at 3 in the afternoon instead of 3 am.

    Kid claims he's innocent and hopefully he's telling the truth.

    Comment by purplerobin (original poster) at 2:03 PM on Jun. 26, 2012

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