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Dh's bioson, 20, has had fairly extreme behavior issues since he was 9. His biomom lied about who the real father was and raised him out of state with another guy she'd named kid after and married until kid was 10 and out of control, and violent. That was when she allowed dh into kid's life. Kid spent time in juvenile hall, group homes, etc.
kid currently collects social security and gets some from dh (who is on social security disability due to a back injury several years ago). While I disagree with kid recieving disability (because he was working as a security guard until he got approved and now won't work at all) , I realize it is out of my hands.
Today we get a call from kids older half-brother (who is a jerk) wanting dh to cosign for bail. He had dh speak to two different bails bondsmen trying to get approved to cosign. I came home to dh on the phone trying to cosign...here are the issues I have with it.
1) We are a family with a very low income, I am unemployed with my unemployment about to run out-if I end up on cash aid I am going back to school to finish up my bachelors.
2)if half-brother thought it was such a wonderful idea to bail kid out, then HE should have come up with the money--it isn't right for him to pressure dh into doing this.
3)kid should not have been calling dad begging him to get out-kid is well aware of our financial situation and he should not ask us to take on this burden. As far as I know, NOBODY was calling kids mother to try and bail him out-and she's the person most responsible for kid being the way he is.
4)biggest reason--if kid doesn't fulfill his responsibilites we could get royally screwed financially-and we can barely afford to make ends meet as it is.
5)kid does not work for a living-the only disadvantage to him being in jail for a few days is boredom and inconvenience. There is no really urgent reason he must be out now, now, now.
P.S. kid is in jail for domestic violence (I think) a former girlfriend accused him of hitting her. He had called dh earlier and said he had to call the cops on her b/c she was banging on his door. He says he didn't hit her and idk personally-I could see him hitting her AND not....apparently this girl is violent.
Anyone have experience with bail or how it works? Thoughts? Sorry so long...his bail to get him out is $1000 and his total bail is $10,000.
**UPDATE** Dh is getting nonstop calls this morning from kid, half-brother or both (dh says kid but when he picked up the phone it was half-brother-dh is half asleep so idk-maybe both are calling). When I let dh know we'd be signing up for a $1000 bill dh goes well "HE'D pay-HE'D pay us back." (well if that's really true we shouldn't need to cosign at all should we??? Idk if I trust kid to do that and told dh-"he'd probably come up with excuses why he couldn't and we'd be screwed out of $1000!" Does kid in jail get held liable at all for this debt, or is it just us???
Answer by Mme.Langley at 4:50 AM on Jun. 26, 2012
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