Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

I don't/CANT understand...

Ok, I can already see that how I was raised was WAY different than most people even older than I. But still. My Stepdaughter complains/sulks/gets a bitchy attitude anytime she doesn't get what she wants. When I was a kid if I didn't get what I wanted I shut up and went on. With her she will become a complete bitch and won't let it go until she gets it. And DH Backs HER UP!!! When it comes to food, they are both VERY picky, but when I was a kid if I didn't like my dinner I got sent to bed hungy. But she can sit there and bitch, sulk/wine until she gets what she wants.And then God Forbid I say one word about how its not fair that she acts like that. DH says I just wasn't raised normal and that kids can choose the food they eat, but if its all we have, and we have no money in the account to take her somewhere to eat something, what the hell am i supposed to do? How do I react? What do I say? Please Help me out. I'm losing my mind

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:47 PM on Jan. 31, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (21)
  • I dont force my kids to eat things they dont like. I make dinner and usually they eat and I know what they like. Do you know what she likes? As for dh well that sounds like the real issue. You should sit and talk to him about how he is undermining you.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 7:49 PM on Jan. 31, 2009

  • She's between 5 and 8? I was raised the same as you and i will raise my daughters the same. You let them act like that with food how are they going to act when they don't get a toy, ext. They have to understand that there are unfair situations in life.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:52 PM on Jan. 31, 2009

  • I don't force my child to eat anything but i cook and thats what's for dinner. Sorry if you don't like it but thats your their only choice. I guess you'll eat when your hungry enough!
    kinzleysmommy

    Answer by kinzleysmommy at 7:54 PM on Jan. 31, 2009

  • I'm not trying to force her to eat it but damn, I can't comprehend in my head how anyone can be SO damn picky.. And its all the time, about everything... I can't win and when I get mad about it I get screamed at. And now I'm angry enough I've locked myself in my bedroom, waiting for the DH to come and talk to me and all he does is sit in the living room playing with the girl and started all this! All day, the picky bitch gets my DH's attention. I know I'm just a little steamed right now. I'm talking a lot of crap, but being the stepmom I guess I'm not allowed to say anything. :(
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:00 PM on Jan. 31, 2009

  • i was raised the exact same way. you need to talk to your dh and she can either learn to cook what she wants for dinner or she can do without. and if hes got anything to say about it then HE can cook her dinner. you are not a resturant or a short order cook. end of discussion. thats the way i was raised and the way i am raising my son and any future kids.
    SThompson21

    Answer by SThompson21 at 8:23 PM on Jan. 31, 2009

  • My son is picky too. When I fix food for more than just us (single parent) then I am sure to fix at least one food he likes. If this is not something you are able to do then perhaps you could offer to let her have some fruit, cheese and a few crackers.

    I agree with the one PP that your husband sounds like a lot of the problem. I think telling him something like, well I have fixed dinner already, but you are more than welcome to go in and make something different for her. (nicely)
    Let the "choice" and the responsibility be his.
    indigostone

    Answer by indigostone at 8:28 PM on Jan. 31, 2009

  • I was raised you ate what was put before you. Period. End of discussion.

    If the boys don't want to eat what I've put before them, they have to eat the required minimum (one bite per year of age) and then they can go...but that's it until the next meal.

    If she won't eat what you've fixed...so be it. And if your husband wants her to be given something else, then he can make it for her. (my opinion)

    You're between that rock and a hard place...and if she's with you all the time...ugh.

    Sorry to tell your husband...YOU were raised "normal".
    TiccledBlue

    Answer by TiccledBlue at 8:31 PM on Jan. 31, 2009

  • My Dh is also a very picky eater and would have no part of 'if you don't like what I serve then starve' so we compromised that DS had the option of making his own PB&J but that was the only option. Eventually I agreed with my DS that it is really not fair that daddy gets something else and he has the choice between what I am having and what DH is having if they are different, but now he usually likes what I am having.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:39 PM on Jan. 31, 2009

  • my mother raised me like this..she's not a resturaunt..we eat what she makes and if we dont like it, tough shit and we can go to bed. im the same way with my children..you need to get DH off his high horse about his daughters eating habits
    tnteaton

    Answer by tnteaton at 11:10 PM on Jan. 31, 2009

  • and the comment about it's not fair that daddy gets something different?? that's becuase He's the DADDY and she's the child. he's a grown adult and can choose something else if he pleases.
    tnteaton

    Answer by tnteaton at 11:11 PM on Jan. 31, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.