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Is this kinda crappy to you?

The wife of my DH's friend and I hung out a lot and learned we had a lot in common the last time they were in the state visiting. We'd met a few times before, but never got to spend much time together. They were always rushing around to visit everyone. This time we continued the friendship online, talking to each other almost every day. When I found out I was pregnant, she was so excited for us. She showed alot of interst in coming to a baby shower. She was happy when I told her I'd arrange it for a date when she was here. For the past month, she doesn't return my messages and won't give me a straight answer about what days they will be in town. Now I'm thinking I will just plan the shower for whenever they are supposedly going to be here, and oh well if she can't come. I was trying to include her, but I can't do that if I don't know when they'll be here. What do you think?

 
kbates1208

Asked by kbates1208 at 9:23 PM on Jan. 31, 2009 in Just for Fun

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This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • I was in your exact situation. I had a friend and we started talking, and then all of a sudden, she vanished. I'd call her and she'd say "Oh I'm busy." I was like screw her, I'll do my own thing. I went to her shower and got her all kinds of things and she didn't even bother to call, let alone make it. I'm pretty upset with her as you can tell. Don't plan things around someone. If she's going to act like a kid, let her. Its all on her.
    LaurenKaye29

    Answer by LaurenKaye29 at 11:43 PM on Jan. 31, 2009

  • make it the day you want! if she wont call or anyting make it whenever u want
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:25 PM on Jan. 31, 2009

  • well i guess i wouldnt know for sure because a baby shower cant wait forever and i hope she couldnt give you a straight answer because she doesnt want to come, hope it would be a good reason. i would plan the baby shower and be sure to point out that a baby shower cant wait forever since you do need things before baby is born or need them when baby is born, just not when your baby is OLD!

    hope she doesnt get her feelings hurt if she cant make it IF you do plan it without her.
    americansugar80

    Answer by americansugar80 at 9:27 PM on Jan. 31, 2009

  • Just make it for a day that's convenient for you. If you can do it when she might be able to make it, do it then. Maybe she's just busy right now. Happens to all of us!! If she wants to be there, she either will, or let you sincerely know why she can't. You'll probably figure out if she's really a friend or just humoring you by how she acts toward the invitation.
    drowninginboys

    Answer by drowninginboys at 9:33 PM on Jan. 31, 2009

  • It sounds like you have figured it out well on your own. You put in the effort & did all that you can. the only further thing that I would possisbly say is just letting her know what date your looking at & hope that she can make it.
    onespecialmom

    Answer by onespecialmom at 9:39 PM on Jan. 31, 2009

  • Make for the day that works best for you and send her an invitation. Don't say anything to her about her not responding to you. That she seems to have moved away from your friendship is a good reason for you to be hurt, but it is better to not bring this up. If she wants to come she will.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 9:40 PM on Jan. 31, 2009

  • Never plan your baby shower for someone else's convenience. Let it go. Sounds like her true colors may be showing.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:57 PM on Jan. 31, 2009

  • She gives you the message that she actually doesn't really care to come. She would be the first one to sign up on your guest list if she is that exctied about your baby shower.
    yoshiki56

    Answer by yoshiki56 at 10:07 PM on Jan. 31, 2009

  • I tried to plan my baby shower for the weekend that my friend said she was going to be in town. A week before the party she called me and said she wouldn't be able to come in that weekend. It sucked, but luckily that wasn't an inconvenient weekend to begin with. Just go with whatever works for you, not her. It's YOUR baby shower.
    jessicarae787

    Answer by jessicarae787 at 10:31 PM on Jan. 31, 2009

  • Hmm, I think there may be something deeper going on. Sounds like ya'll were getting along fine for a while, then out of the blue she just quit talking to you? Could she be haing marital problems? Maybe she feels awkward talking to you about it b/c she knows your DH and hers are friends. Or maybe she's having problems with her family. MAybe try one more time and explain to her that you would really hate for her to iss it, but you need an answer. Maybe ask her if everyhting is okay her way. That's just my opinion. She may not know when she's coming down b/c she doesn't know if her and her DH are going to be together much longer or not.
    renea20

    Answer by renea20 at 10:35 PM on Jan. 31, 2009

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