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Should I be mad?

My husband's job is on-call and sometimes they're gone all day. Today he went to work at 7am and it's now almost 8:30pm. He left his cell phone here at home so I can't get ahold of him. I just called his job and they said he was still out so I know he's still at work but he could have somehow borrowed a cell phone to call me! I've been sitting here worrying. Do I have a right to be mad? Or am I overreacting? Cuz part of me wants to rip him a new one when he gets home.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:21 PM on Jan. 31, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (16)
  • You have a right to be mad, but honestly you probably shouldn't be. At least until he's had a chance to explain himself and why he hasn't called.

    I understand that sick feeling you probably have from being worried, but do your best to be patient and understanding. If he is usually really great about calling, and it's just about him forgetting his phone and having an awful day... then maybe consider letting him off the hook with the understanding that if he EVER forgets his phone again he is to call and check in at least once... whether it's from a borrowed phone or collect from a pay phone.

    Good luck, and give us an update if you can!
    Ashes0813

    Answer by Ashes0813 at 12:25 AM on Feb. 1, 2009

  • No, you shouldn't be mad. He is at work and he may not of had time to call or he may not want to bother someone to use their phone. Sounds to me like you may be mad at something else and not just him not calling. It has happened to me a few times but I just have to take a step back and ask myself why I am really mad.
    JeremysMom

    Answer by JeremysMom at 11:23 PM on Jan. 31, 2009

  • Oh go pop a midol munch.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:27 PM on Jan. 31, 2009

  • I used to always get mad at my boyfriend when he had to work later then planed and not call me but then I relized that just caused stupid problems in are relationship. I have changed and as long as he is working and gets home later then planed the I am ok with it becasue he is making money. Sometimes they get really busy and can't call or don't like to ask people to use there phones. As long as you trust him then you should not be mad at him. I am sure it is not his fault.
    andrea86160

    Answer by andrea86160 at 11:30 PM on Jan. 31, 2009

  • Just calm down and take a deep breath. Remeber why he is gone and know that it is for a very good reason. Would you rather he be at work or off partying somewhere or with another woman? There are worse places he could be.
    BIMOM21

    Answer by BIMOM21 at 11:38 PM on Jan. 31, 2009

  • OP- I think the only reason I'm mad is because he KNOWS I worry. I have really bad anxiety and I get all these things going in my head and it's worse when I can't reach him. I'm not mad at him for being at work like some post-menopausal women on here seem to think. I'm just worried and mad that he hasn't called to let me know he's okay.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:40 PM on Jan. 31, 2009

  • The only reason your DH is not home with you, is because he is providing for his family... so he deserves as much patience as you can possibly give him. Yes, the considerate thing to do is borrow a phone and send a quick message... but you haven't heard his side of the story, or how awful his day has been.

    I don't know what your DH does that he is on call... but I used to work on the ambulance. There were some days that were just INSANE and there was just NO time to call DH even if I had my phone on me. DH just had to be understanding and give me a chance to explain once I got home. It depends on the job, some on-call jobs are dangerous and it is important to check in with your partner and let them know everything is alright, so I'm not going to judge.

    You have every right to be worried, but give him a chance to explain and not come home to an angry wife.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:44 PM on Jan. 31, 2009

  • I can understand your frustration. I have been there too. But maybe I wouldnt come across to him as mad but let him know you were worried and maybe let him know next time you would like him to call just so you know he is okay. No big deal. We have all been there I am sure.
    And for Munch- Why are you always so rude? I think its time you pull that stick out of your butt. Trust me, you will be a much happier person if you do that.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:46 PM on Jan. 31, 2009

  • Yes, you absolutely have the right to be mad. But not to rip him a new one. You'll get a much better response from him if you do not put him on the defensive. In fact, I pretty much agree with everything Ashes said...
    TeeJai

    Answer by TeeJai at 12:36 AM on Feb. 1, 2009

  • is his job dangerous? I think your just stressed. They would have called you if something serious happened. I know what it's like to have an SO out on a dangerous job, and I use to snap at him when he didn't call to say he was going to be late... but most of the time it was uncalled for because I knew what he did, where he was, and that sometimes he couldn't call. Take a few breaths and relax. That's all you can do in situations like this.
    xxhazeldovexx

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 1:05 AM on Feb. 1, 2009

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