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PLEASE HELP MY ANXIETY! How do I set my newborn daughter down? I am terrified of SIDS!

I can't be more than a foot away from her and every little squeal and squeak she makes needs to be carefully examined by me. I end up holding her while she sleeps which does not allow me to sleep or rest at all.

What makes things worse is that my fiance is the exact same way for the same reasons!

Help! I know that this is unhealthy and it has been over two weeks now! How do I get over this major fear and let my baby rest on her own?

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Asked by girlneffy at 1:43 AM on Feb. 1, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

Level 3 (27 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • We have a movement monitor by Anglecare. It works well and gave me peace of mind.... it alarms after 30 seconds of no movement. We have never had any false alarms (other than forgetting to turn it off when we take him out of the crib)

    Answer by AmiJanell at 2:08 AM on Feb. 1, 2009

  • I was the EXACT same way. It didn't help that I've attended the funeral of a 1 month old who died of SIDS. For the first couple weeks I really didn't sleep even though he did! My husband never worried about it though so that helped a little. Other than getting the monitor like pp suggested there's really no way to "cure" your anxiety. I think even with the monitor I would have been convinced that it wouldn't work for me lol. It gets easier, trust me. Once you get used to her sleeping pattern you learn what's normal. My son is almost 6 months and I've heard that's the age where there's much less risk but it still worries me sometimes. I'd tell you just exactly the horrible thoughts I've had while worrying about it but I don't want to sound crazy lol. All I can say is hang in there, it gets better!!

    Answer by jessicarae787 at 2:59 AM on Feb. 1, 2009

  • Most of that is actually very normal. You could bring her crib or bassinet into your room at night so you can keep an eye on her. You can also carry her around in a sling during the day to give you peace of mind. She'll benefit greatly from all the close physical contact, and you'll feel a little freer to get things done around the house!

    Answer by MamaSueCongdon at 4:37 AM on Feb. 1, 2009

  • As everyone else has said it does get easier. Having her in your room would be the most comforting place for you to keep an eye on her. But to be the best mom you can be to care for her you need to rest. If you believe in a higher power you need to put your faith in them that they will take care of your child. I know it's hard but losing sleep does not help either of you. Just make sure nothing but the bare neccesites are in the bassinet and that she is swaddled and on her back. Make sure there's good ventilation in the room. If you need to turn on a fan for a little while do so. But above all sleep. If you're exhausted who will care for you and her? Have faith.

    Answer by zen_zenplz at 5:40 AM on Feb. 1, 2009

  • It's normal to have some concern. However, you need to realize that if you become SO overly concerned that it's interfering with your health (lack of sleep), you're not going to be able to take proper care of her.

    Worrying too much will prevent you from truly enjoying your life with her. Get the angel care monitor if that will help you. But...well, to be honest SIDS can happen even in your arms, honey. It's called "SUDDEN" for a reason. There is no warning unfortunately. Just take all the precautions the "experts" say to just have to make up your mind that no matter how long you have with her (I'm guessing 70-80 years) to make the most of it an enjoy her to the max!!!

    Answer by TiccledBlue at 5:53 AM on Feb. 1, 2009

  • Thjere are wedges that you can buy that props the baby on it's side. I am a great grandmother and even though back in the "old days" our babies slept oon there stomachs which I understand today is a no-no. But I bought this wedge in a baby store when my daughter had her baby. and it worked very well. You can change sides that the baby sleeps on but if I were you I would buy one. It gives you peace of mind.
    Just a Nana's 2 cents worth.
    Good Luck.

    Answer by flutterby.16 at 6:03 AM on Feb. 1, 2009

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