Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

For those of you who have left your husbands........

What steps did you first take? We rent a home together, been together for 13 years and have a 6 year old together. We both work full time and parent together. He's an excellent, reliable dad and partener in that aspect. I couldn't imagine not having him there full time to help out with our son. For those of you who took the big step, how did you do it?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:38 AM on Feb. 1, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • By the way....I'm 7 weeks pregnant with out second child. I'm leaving because he's verbally abusive and I'm not in love with him anymore.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:41 AM on Feb. 1, 2009

  • I knew I was going to leave months before I did. I worked also. I made a plan, had money saved up, a place to stay and pretended like everything was alright. Now the reason I had to do this was he was emotionally, mentally and sometimes physically abusive. I had tried to sit and talk about it but it always ended badly, or with him sending me packing on a guilt trip. So I did what I had to. Still I would advise any woman thinking of leaving to put money aside in advance then leave. A clean break is always better then one that lingers forever.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:41 AM on Feb. 1, 2009

  • how can u even get pregnant by someone you are not in love with? if you want to leave him that bad then those problems are there since longer i think? why taking the risk of getting pregnant by him again?

    You need to grow up woman. poor baby
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:52 AM on Feb. 1, 2009

  • LOL....thanks for being judgemental. He is my husband and things happen. You don't know the circumstances of my pregnancy so please don't judge. I am a fully grown woman and not a young girl on here...I was looking for some solid advice from other mature women on here. If you didn't have anything to offer you should have read the question and moved on. No need for your nasty comments.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:56 AM on Feb. 1, 2009

  • I agree you should try and plan everything beforehand. Don't tell him anything...just do what you gotta do. It might help you feel better that you are planning and preparing, too. You won't have to focus on the bad anymore.
    MammaMia72

    Answer by MammaMia72 at 10:02 AM on Feb. 1, 2009

  • There is no reason to be judgmental. When you live with an abusive person its a whole different ballgame. Unless you have walked in those shoes then you have no right to pass judgment.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:08 AM on Feb. 1, 2009

  • With him 13 years. Have a 6 year old child. You're not in love with him anymore. You are pregnant again and NOW you want to leave? Shouldn't you have thought about that 7 weeks ago before you allowed yourself to get pregnant? What's so different now except your second child with grow up without a father in the home?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:21 AM on Feb. 1, 2009

  • I lived with an emotionally/mentally verbal abuser for 23 years. He was my husband. I left him about 2 years ago. We had three children together and I had fallen out of love with him also; however, I felt like I was "stuck" in a marriage that I needed to make work. I was completely wrong in my thinking. DO NOT JUDGE!!! Folks who did not walk in my shoes did not know what went on in our marriage. NOBODY knows what goes on behind closed doors. I actually moved in with a very sweet friend who wanted to help me out. Do you have anybody like that in your life?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:40 AM on Feb. 1, 2009

  • Can I ask you why you want to do it? I think that would determine the first step.
    happi-ladi

    Answer by happi-ladi at 10:59 AM on Feb. 1, 2009

  • i know what you are talking about im going threw it with my husband i want out i feel out of love yes it does happen things change ive been married for 3 yrs as a woman and your not in love with your husband anymore all you do it fight and you try to make things work but not happens its time to let go and move on that is what im doing so dont judge a woman on something you havent been threw when you have been threw it then you can judge
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:16 AM on Feb. 1, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN