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Checking out other women?

My fiance and I were fighting the other day when I asked him if he checks out other women. He said "yes, I even check them out when you're with me." He knows it bothers me, and i've told him I don't like him doing it. He just tells me that every man does it and for me to get over it, it's human nature. I don't find the need to check out other men, so I don't. I have him to look at but apparently he has the need to for some reason. Does anyone have this problem? If you told your SO/DH that it bothers you did he stop?


Asked by Anonymous at 11:22 AM on Feb. 1, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • It is normal for men to check out other women. It's something you have to get use to. I'm like you, I don't care to check out other men at all so at first I didn't understand why my DH did it.
    The thing is, he would always forget about them shortly after. He wouldn't even remember what the girl looked like that he checked out a few days ago.
    Please, If your smart, don't let this become an issue in your marriage. It will get worse and worse to the point he can't stand you. I know, It happened with me and my husband.
    Stop while it's easy!

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:55 PM on Feb. 1, 2009

  • When it bothered me I just used to check women out with him and say what i thought was wrong with them and such kinda made a game out of it. He is right though its human nature if you see something pretty or intriguing your going to look I would give him a break about it

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:28 AM on Feb. 1, 2009

  • Ha, he is telling you the truth!! I'm married to an older man and YES, ALL men do it!!! Like it or not they do.. My hubby does it.. I think its funny.. lol I have enough faith in our marriage that it doesn't bother me.. A man IS going to look.. LOL :D

    Answer by honeys_sugamama at 11:31 AM on Feb. 1, 2009

  • It is human nature. Just as I can look at a cake in the display case and think it looks very tasty but would not buy it even so because I know that I shouldn't. I wouldn't make unkind remarks about the women he is eyeing, in fact, I usually make some kind comment- gosh she has pretty hair, or that is just the cutest outfit! Doing this makes it look as if I am not the least jealous but that I am a gracious person who enjoys looking at people just as much as anyone else. It does not put him on the defensive nor cause him to lose face. I come out ahead because it seems that I am a nice person and that I am not criticizing him. ;)

    Answer by Bmat at 11:33 AM on Feb. 1, 2009

  • It never really bothered me before but right after I found out I was pregnant with our son we pulled into a gas station and a girl across the parking lot was pumping gas. He stared at her for the longest time then looked at me and then looked back at her. Later he denied looking at her then after he got drunk I asked him why he was checking her out and he just straight up told me "she had a nice ass". I guess it mostly bothers me that he doesn't look at me like i'm attractive anymore and I have to almost force him to touch me anywhere other than a pat on the shoulder or arm like i'm a buddy. I try telling him I like him to grab my butt or boobs or anywhere like that and he'll do it once the day I tell him I like it but then act like he's afraid to do it any other time.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:43 AM on Feb. 1, 2009

  • Yes all men do it and women also. I know my husband does this, but, he loves me and it doesn't bother me. But he also looks at the ones that aren't so pretty too. I even look at men, I am not dead, so I do look. Good grief, if a drop dead gorgeous man, just walked right in front of you or me, you can bet you sweet butt I will look, Won't you?If you 2 love each other, there shouldn't be a problem since you know you have each others heart!

    Answer by Kat122 at 11:46 AM on Feb. 1, 2009

  • And on the pregnant part, it can make you feel things you ordinarily wouldn't. Hormones do work overtime on your brain and there is nothing you can do about it.

    Answer by Kat122 at 11:47 AM on Feb. 1, 2009

  • Please I even point them out for him. I love that people watch thing. That's what makes going to my son's school so exciting. Watching how the I am so rich b--ches get jealous over people watching me. Love it. Please move on. Let your hubby flirt and watch, he's going home with younot them and vice versa for the women.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:48 AM on Feb. 1, 2009

  • I don't mind DH checking out other women. He dosen't act on it and it's not like he's drooling or gawking. He gives them a glance and a one over. Can't blame him, there is so much sexuality out there in how women present themselves, advertising and such. I think requiring them to not look is unreasonable, unless you have trust or infidelity issues in your relationship.
    I check out other men. I'm not fantasizing about them or doing more than a once over either.

    Answer by AmandaH321 at 11:57 AM on Feb. 1, 2009

  • He just tells me that every man does it and for me to get over it, it's human nature.

    He is right!

    I don't find the need to check out other men, so I don't.

    Men and women are hard wired differently.

    Does anyone have this problem?

    Nope!  It doesn't bother me.




    Answer by beeky at 12:21 PM on Feb. 1, 2009