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2 Bumps

Trying to help DD's friend has turned sour

So we picked the kid up a week ago yesterday and took him home 4 days later. The plan was for him and his parents to work it out. Which from what I understand has already fallen apart and he's back on the street. Now over the weekend I heard some disturbing info regarding the "kid" (he's 18) that the mother shared with a friend we both share. Why she wouldn't have shared this info with me while the kid was staying here or right after we dropped him off at home. It's info that now knowing makes it impossible for me to let him come back to my house to stay. The problem is now he's out of his house knows where I live and I'm alone with my youngest for several days while the rest of the family is away. I am worried and not sure what to do. I can't sleep this has me so wigged out. I can't believe this is how me trying to help ends up. Part of me says what if she's lying to make us scared of him (which worked) so we don't help him.. the other part says what if she's not lying.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:09 AM on Jul. 2, 2012 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (8)
  • No good deed goes unpunished, I guess.

    It's too bad things went wrong. Hats off to you for trying to help.

    I don't know what you found out about the kid, but I can guarantee that worrying won't help at all. If he comes to your door, tell him he needs to leave, and say it like you mean it. If he doesn't leave, call 911, then shut and lock your door. He could be charged with tresspassing if he ignores your command to get off your property. You can also get a restraining order if you have to.

    You were in the kid's life for a reason, if only for a short time. Just know you showed him love and compassion, and that's the best that anyone can expect of you. No debts, no guilt.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 3:33 AM on Jul. 2, 2012

    Credits: 84455 Level 36 1 star Teens (13-17) 101
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  • Doors and windows locked keep the phone close. Have you talk to his mom to comferm the story?
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 7:35 AM on Jul. 2, 2012

    Credits: 92188 Level 37 1 star1 star Teens (13-17) Minor
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  • Hmmm.
    Caryhoward

    Answer by Caryhoward at 8:26 AM on Jul. 2, 2012

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  • Let the police in on what's going on. That's what they are there for. They could do extra patrol in your area. They could also find out what is going on with the kid/adult. Not knowing the full story of what he "supposedly" did it's hard to make a judgement call.
    robinkane

    Answer by robinkane at 9:17 AM on Jul. 2, 2012

    Credits: 195258 Level 45 1 star1 star Teens (13-17) Minor
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  • The parents will not return our calls at all, we have tried to contact them since our friend shared what the mother shared with her. I was totally taken aback since neither the mother or father bothered to share this info directly with me when I had their son in my home. If what this mother said is true then my family could of been in danger.

    Now the "kid" is on the street begging me to go get him and I feel totally stuck. My husband is going to go see him tomorrow and get him some food then talk to him. Tell him we will help him by getting him into a shelter to start then help him find a program so he can learn to transition into an adult but that we can't let him come here. I do feel terrible for him but I have to think about my own children first.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 5:22 PM on Jul. 2, 2012

  • Call 211 a national info and referral service. Tell them he is 18 and on the streets. They will give you the names and contact information for Youth Services and Youth Shelters. Good luck to you. Bear in mind that the parents may not be telling the truth. However you did the right thing protecting yourself and your family. Good luck.
    booklover545

    Answer by booklover545 at 2:01 PM on Jul. 8, 2012

    Credits: 104696 Level 38 1 star1 star Teens (13-17) Minor
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  • I suspect you were lied to. But yes, 211. A neutral third party needs to deal with this.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 2:09 PM on Jul. 8, 2012

    Credits: 65135 Level 34 1 star Teens (13-17) 101
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  • So I thought I'd update this not sure if anyone who responded will see it again or not. This has turned into such a disaster, the kid is gone from home and his parents told everyone he moved in with me and now blame us that they can't find him. He says he has contacted them and told them he is with friends they say he is with us and we are lying. They keep threatening to call the police who we ourselves have contacted and we were told we didn't do anything wrong.
    I hate to say that this whole terrible experience will surely make me think twice or even ten times before helping anyone ever again.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:43 AM on Jul. 11, 2012

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Answers / Parenting / Teens (13-17)