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Is It HIS House or OUR House?

This is a spin off of my "FIL is Driving Me Nuts!" question. My husband and I live with my FIL. My husband doesn't pay any rent, but I pay half of it and my FIL pays the other half. My FIL refuses to let us baby proof the house. We can't move anything around, there are wires on the walls, and breakables low to the ground. I don't want to make any drastic changes, I just want to move some things around until my son is older or we move out! But anyway, my question is, who's apartment is it? If we pay equal rent and my name is on the lease, shouldn't I have some say in this?


Asked by Anonymous at 12:44 PM on Feb. 1, 2009 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • If you name is on the lease, it doesn't matter if you pay a dime, it is half your apartment. The fact that you contribute is even better. Perhaps because it started out as his apartment, he still views it that way? He is definitely wrong but that would be a reason. If there are structural problems with the house and wires exposed, call the landlord. I wouldn't even ask him if I could baby-proof. I would just do it. If it is your apartment too, why do you need his permission. Since he is CO-leasing it with you, I'd let him know what you're doing and what to expect but to ask his permission just confirms it for him that it is his apartment and not your's.

    Answer by NovemberLove at 2:25 PM on Feb. 1, 2009

  • It's your FIL apartment he is letting you live with him. Yes you do pay half the rent, I am sure he feels he is helping you out.  I would kindly let him know my safety concerns, if it's such a big deal to him, then you should be looking for a new place to live.


    Answer by mommiedear at 12:47 PM on Feb. 1, 2009

  • If you both pay i would say yes. besides its for his grandchilds safety but if (i'm assuming) it was his house first I would approach carefully, esp. if he let you guys move in to help YOU out and is perfectably capable of going on w/o you.

    Answer by MamiJaAyla at 12:47 PM on Feb. 1, 2009

  • I think you should still have a right to say something, but why doesn't your husband have a say? And why are you paying rent and he's not? I'd say that your husband needs to step in here and talk to his father. Then I would also be finding another apartment pretty quick.

    Answer by feesharose at 12:49 PM on Feb. 1, 2009

  • Well, the reason my husband doesn't pay rent is bc he's lived with his grandfather (he adopted him and I always refer to him as his dad) for a while, bc his grandfather had surgery and asked him to move back in while he recovered. My husband was living with his girlfriend at the time. Awhile after he moved in, they broke up, and we met and well...the rest goes from there. When I got pregnant I moved in with him and offered to pay half the rent. So, yeah, it was my FILs apartment, but he asked my husband to move back in and help him.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:53 PM on Feb. 1, 2009

  • If your name is on the lease and your paying half the rent then it's just as mush your apartment as your FIL.

    Answer by pagirl71 at 12:57 PM on Feb. 1, 2009

  • First of all you say you and your dh live with your father in law but yet your name is on the lease.
    It sounds like you guys live with him. So I would say it is his apartment.
    Even though you pay the other half you should have alittle say so in it. I guess he doesn't want it looking like a baby place. That is why I also say it is his place. He should meet you guys half way on this 50/50 just like the rent. You need to look for a place of your own hurry and save some money you can call a place of your own. GL

    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 12:59 PM on Feb. 1, 2009

  • Who rented the apt to begin with? That's who's apartment it is. You need to rethink you're living arrangements if this isn't going to be a safe place for your baby. Maybe you're husband needs to contribute if he is healthy and able-bodied so that you do not need to live with his father.

    Answer by MommyAddie at 1:40 PM on Feb. 1, 2009

  • i mean, my husband works full time. he doesn't just sit at home on his butt all day. he just saves up and buys the groceries and stuff. and i guess then technically it would be his grandfather's, but if i'm paying rent to live there, don't i have some say in whats going on? and its not a dangerous place, i mean, we can stop our son from going after things, its just there are so many little adjustments that could be made to make this living situation more efficient.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:43 PM on Feb. 1, 2009

  • Who else is on the leas? Is it yor F.I.L.?If it is then he does have a say so on some matters.Is the furniture all his?Did you ask him why he refuses to baby proof the appartment?Really he has no say so,when it comes to the safety of your child.He only has the say so if you or your husband is negelicing or abusing your child.To me he sounds like an arrogant controling person.Don't listen to him and when the bum is at work.Baby proof the place then.

    Answer by Jeffsmom87 at 4:20 PM on Feb. 1, 2009