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Adoption questions...

We are considering adopting a special needs child in the next 3-4 years. We have first hand experience with Asperger's and Autism. Our DS who is 8 has Asperger's. We were wondering how the process worked. I know fostering into adoption is the most cost effective way but do you get to 'choose' the child who best fits your family or do they just place a child with you. If we want to be 'picky' (for lack of any other word) do we need to go private? We want to adopt an Autistic girl between 2-5 years old. We want a girl because we are in a 3 bedroom home and DS who is autistic need his own space. DD who is nero typical can share. My kids are 8 and 4 now and DH and I are each 31. Will they allow us to adopt at 34/35? Any information would be appreciated. WE live in Ga if that makes a difference.

If this is not the best place to get this info then who do you suggest we contact? We are just very naive on the subject of adoption!

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:23 AM on Jul. 2, 2012 in Adoption

This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • I have two adopted children and one is special needs from outside the united states. Yes you are correct that fostering and within in US is most cost effective. Our son is from China with special needs and it was much quicker, but very expensive to adopted outside the US. Fostering is a whole other ballgame and if you have the personal time and dedication to put towards this child, then I would say maybe this is right for you. Just so you have an understanding from travel and all the other costs with adopting from China, almost $30,000...

    Good luck and bless you for even thinking about this!
    Susangolich

    Answer by Susangolich at 11:00 AM on Jul. 5, 2012

  • Yes, you can set parameters for children that would be best suited for your family and that you'd be best suited for and, in fact, you are required to say so. It was awkward at first because you really would like to be open to any child, but it's better for the child to be in a family that is best suited to meet his/her needs. Does it mean you will get a "made to order child"? Of course not, but it does help the placement workers and again, the child, in the long run whether they are foster only or if their case goes to adoption. As far as age requirements, etc., call your local DHS office and see when their next training starts. I always say that regardless if you go through with foster care and/or adoption thru DHS, the training info is invaluable and will affect how you see the world afterwards. GL!

    doodlebopfan

    Answer by doodlebopfan at 9:05 PM on Jul. 6, 2012

  • Have you checked the list of Cafemom GROUPS? I'm sure there is a group here that will be able to help you with all your questions. Good Luck.
    meooma

    Answer by meooma at 10:18 AM on Jul. 2, 2012

  • Most private adoptions (in the US) are of newborns,, the foster system really would be the best route to investigate, and as meoma said there are alot of adoption groups on here. Many kid's homes have visiting and what not for you to build a relationship with a child before you just bring her home.
    kimigogo

    Answer by kimigogo at 10:32 AM on Jul. 2, 2012

  • Some private adoptions for special needs children is possible. The organization I went through does do that. Typically it is single moms overwhelmed who are not able to meet the needs of their child. Not because they are a bad parent. It comes down to being exhausted and extremely limited finances. Ususally they ask to be part of the child's life. Not to parent but to know their child is thriving and to be another person to love this kid. It is not lack of loving that adoption plans come about. We receive occassional news letters of children waiting privately and requests to spread the word. I honestly do not know amoung my friends who would adopt a child with extra needs. There are private ways but my guess is hard to find. Fost/adopt is a good way. Age is never an issue so no worries. Your home would most likely be celebrated....since you most likely know how to handle kids who think differently.
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 8:05 PM on Jul. 2, 2012

  • Contact the state and find out the adoption process.
    booklover545

    Answer by booklover545 at 3:50 PM on Jul. 9, 2012