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What to do when ya bored...of HIM

I have been with him for over 4 yrs. We have a 6month old baby and he has been the only father my 6yr old (from a previous relationship) has ever known. We have been through so much together. The premature birth of our daughter, a miscarriage lin '07, ...He was the only person who was there for me when I had my accident last fall and was bedridden. Yet I can't help but be bored.

He lost his job (due to company downsizing b.s.) and has been looking for a new one every day. I spend my days working, then coming home and cleaning up after all 3 of them. We don't go out, the sex isn't so good anymore and the little things he does have started to annoy me. I find myself having my stimulating conversations with friends, telling them about my bad days, my feelings and my stresses. I find myself happy when I'm away from home. I just don't feel like he treats me the way I deserve anymore....but I feel as though I've invested so much.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:11 PM on Feb. 1, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • It's kind of annoying picking up after someone who is unemployed while you work all day. Sex can be the pits after awhile. It's the same routine, day in and out. Boring life, boring him, boring me! I discovered when I was bored with him, I was boring too because I didn't try to spice things up, I didn't plan a date night, I didn't make time for coffee and conversing about our dreams and goals. I started to turn it around by writing a list of his good points.

    You have already started one. Add to it every day or just write it over and remind yourself about them. Look for him doing things right. Plan a date, suggest you both read the same book, come up with an idea for making a tumble more fun! DO NOT talk to other women about what is wrong with him! A once in awhile vent is ok but you reinforce your negative image of him when you do that.

    You are probably both bored and boring. Admit it, change it.

    happi-ladi

    Answer by happi-ladi at 2:21 PM on Feb. 1, 2009

  • Maybe it could be the fact that he lost his job and is still looking for one with out any luck. You may be looking at him different because he isn't working and if thats true, thats not right at all. There is a lot of pressure on you 2, and standing by each other in time of need will show what type of people you are. He sounds like a good man standing by you when you were bedridden, can you stand by him while he goes thru his hard time in life?
    Kat122

    Answer by Kat122 at 2:16 PM on Feb. 1, 2009

  • good luck What you need to do is stop being sooo negative, he sounds like a nice guy. All I can tell you is someone out there will be willing to take him. Alot of woman go through what you are going through just try to make the best of it and enjoy your life with him not very many men do this type of thing stand by a woman that has gone through so much and still put up with their shit. So try to have a night out together and try to rekindle what you once had and stop excepting the down side of things do it for you children and for him as well he sounds like he is willing to go through this again no matter what you put him through. Don't give up. Be patient and start thinking positive. Don't b a fool or selfish.

    Butterfly1108

    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 2:17 PM on Feb. 1, 2009

  • And if you are looking down on him, not respecting him so much, think about turning the tables. He was there for you and now, you need to be there for him. He loved you through the things he could have been disappointed in you for. He isn't that kind of guy apparently. Consider this a learning opportunity to be the best wife you can be for him while he's down.
    happi-ladi

    Answer by happi-ladi at 2:24 PM on Feb. 1, 2009

  • time for a vacation from the sounds of it.. get a sitter for the night and focus on just the two of you, you'd be surprised what just one night can bring back.
    xxhazeldovexx

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 3:38 PM on Feb. 1, 2009

  • u know one thing that i kinda like to do is go online and do research. for example i hit up www.truthaboutdeception.com alot...i always find a lot of answers to my questions like this. (and believe me i have a lot of questions like this in my head sometimes) and then i also have questions about tha same thing only in reverse (what to do when i think he's bored with me)...

    also there are a few groups i like here on cafemom that deal with putting tha flame back in ur relationship ("bringing back the spark "is one of them) and/or dealing with a husband who's just not doin it for ya no more. anywayz i hope this helps and let me know if i can help or if ya need someone to talk to. i been there and i'm goin thru it now so i know! lol
    rastafarimama

    Answer by rastafarimama at 3:41 PM on Feb. 1, 2009

  • I Would Talk With Him And Ask Him To Help Out More Around The House. Explain To Him How Hard It Is For You To Go To Work Then Come Home And Take Care Of Him, The Kids And The House Too. Then Get A Sitter And Have A Date Night, Go To Dinner And Get A Hotel, You'd Be Surprised At What It Can Do For A Relationship.
    Kari_Noelle

    Answer by Kari_Noelle at 7:10 PM on Feb. 1, 2009

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