My son's biological father is not in the picture bc he is very abusive and into drugs. I have sole legal custody and he isn't even allowed to contact my son or I. I have been dating someone now for several months (but have known him several years.) Things are great between us and he and my son get along great and really love each other. I do see this to be a lasting relationship and believe it will eventually turn into more. But my boyfriend has already started referring to himself as "Dad" and "Daddy" and I'm having mixed feelings about it. I love my boyfriend and he is great with my son but we don't live together so he isn't up in the middle of the night with him, he doesn't support us in any way financially, and he can still come and go as he pleases. It feels a bit like he is stepping on toes when he says those things bc I'm the one (and only one) here day in day out taking care of my son. Am I being petty or is it really too soon for him to be calling himself my son's dad? At this point he is the closest thing to a real dad but I still just don't feel like he's actually earned that title yet. Please help! Any advice or comments would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.Answer Question
Answer by glam.fairy at 5:49 AM on Jul. 3, 2012
Answer by layh41407 at 6:27 AM on Jul. 3, 2012
Answer by FXmomTo3 at 6:50 AM on Jul. 3, 2012
He is just a boyfriend. Not even a live in boyfriend yet. No marriage yet. You need to inform him as nicely as you can. He is not your child's dad/daddy. When me and my DH got together I always called him by his first name. We married when my kids where 5 and 10. He was never dad/daddy.
Answer by louise2 at 7:54 AM on Jul. 3, 2012
Answer by wendythewriter at 7:59 AM on Jul. 3, 2012
Answer by whitepeppers at 8:01 AM on Jul. 3, 2012
Answer by NannyB. at 8:32 AM on Jul. 3, 2012
You don't bestow the title dad on a boyfriend. The weight of that title is very, very heavy. With the potential of screwing up your child's head if he isn't really serious about a lifetime commitment and takes off and you never hear from him again after a breakup. Your baby does not deserve that. Have you spoken to him about where you'd like your future to go? It doesn't sound like he's terribly interested in being a family man right now.
And why in the world would he feel obligated to support you financially?
Answer by adnilm at 8:39 AM on Jul. 3, 2012
Answer by Crafty26 at 9:16 AM on Jul. 3, 2012
Answer by meooma at 9:57 AM on Jul. 3, 2012