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Why am i so picky about my friends-or am i? (please excuse typos, wrote this fast in a hurry)

why do most of my friends bother me. one is needy, another not so bright, one shuns me for not believing her religion, another on drugs (that relationship is finished), another had a baby, got married and moved across the country so never talks to me anymore like i dont matter, another friend is conservative and i am liberal, another...homeless.
as you can see my only friend that i feel i can fully be myself with is my boyfriend, but i dont want JUST a boyfriend, i want a best girlfriend as well. i used to but she was the homeless one, we were best best friends for the longest time until she brought over her abusive boyfriend to live with me and he would knock her teeth out, cheat on her, hit her and she would still stay with him so i had to say get out of my house to both of them.
maybe im not picky, maybe i just dont have a nice selection of friends. the one thing i do appreciate though is that i can trust them all. it's just the fact that i cannot always fully be myself around them. it makes me not want to talk to them because some critisize if i speak my mind.
i plan on meeting new people in the fall. i am visiting my friend at the moment across the country, but people in general just dont do me justice. they are nice, and then they screw you, or they promise you something and then forget, or lie. or they are just too slow in the head they can't keep up. i am an advocate of special needs but there is a difference between working with someone slow and being their friend. we have known eachother for years and years, went to school together but they are just not up to par. i dont know if i should let these people go all at once, and start from scratch? i already dropped 2 people this year, and 1 (my besty) last year and another (my childhood besty) the year before that due to drugs, etc. so am i looking in the wrong places? is this my fault? dont know what to do or how to meet a decent person. i live in a nice town, i am just a unique person with different views i think than most people so its hard for people to understand me i think. at least my boyfriend does and we have been together 6 years, but he is a man so its not the same as a lady friend. does all this makes sense? so what should i do

Answer Question

Asked by lizzybee44 at 6:49 PM on Jul. 3, 2012 in Relationships

Level 19 (7,681 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • Maybe your expectations are too high

    Answer by adnilm at 6:53 PM on Jul. 3, 2012

  • Im very "picky" about my friends and who is in my life. If you have people in your life who are users, abusers, too religious (one way or another) what can they bring positive to your life? They will only suck out your energy, your positivity, and bring you down. The only people who should be in your life are those that, more often than not, bring joy and happiness when you have contact with them, instead of being a burden or a pain when they are around.
    Its not being picky, its knowing who really matters in your life. You only live once, so you may as well make it the best you can. Those tht mind dont matter, and those that matter dont mind. :)

    Answer by Mme.Langley at 7:33 PM on Jul. 3, 2012

  • Could you be expecting too much from one person? I have a few close friends, and several more who are nice to talk to now and then, and together they bring more joy than strife into my world. I'm a Christian, but I'm pretty laid back about it. Some of my friends are more religious than I am; we just don't discuss topics we won't agree on. A few of them are needy; I limit my time with them so they don't smother me. Some of them aren't sharp enough to go around with intellectually, so I don't. Still, too religious, too needy, too slow, imperfect as they are, if I called out to any one of them in a crisis, they'd be at my side as fast as they possibly could. I wouldn't let them live with me if they did drugs or had abusive men in their lives because that's just enabling them to hurt themselves, and as a friend I couldn't do that. But they are my soul family, as I am theirs, and together we are enough for each other.

    Answer by Ballad at 12:19 AM on Jul. 4, 2012

  • you should be picky about who you call friends! there is nothing wrong with that!

    Answer by jazmya_mom at 5:29 AM on Jul. 6, 2012

  • If they don't fit into your lifestyle no more the find those who do.. sometimes friends do grow apart.

    Answer by mommys2cupcakes at 1:28 PM on Jul. 6, 2012

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