I really wish parents.....

if you ran into me and my daughter at the playground or library
and my daughter has acting different, and i said- she has autism

what would you think?
would you assume that i do not teach her?
would you think i was using her disorder as an excuse?
how do you decide who works their ass of with their child doing everything they can to open a path to society and who does nothing?

you can not see autism

..............where is the vote this question down button?

my daughter has moderate autism with sensory processing disorder
i work my ass off to teach her
it just takes a hundred times vs a few to get things across to her

at times she is better behaved at library then other people children
...until other peoples children act up, run crazy and are not supervised- then all bets are off and daughter follows suite

I BLAME THE PARENTS OF 'NORMAL' KIDS- THE PARENTS TEACH THEM NOTHING

thanks for MY vent

...did you read MY answer
you have NO IDEA how hard it is to "teach" a child with autism how to control their brains when they are having sensory melt downs
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this question really got on my nerves

My DD has ADHD and there are some things that happen because of it. When your kid is sitting there all nice and still and paying attention to everything the teacher says and my child is sitting in her seat fidgeting and doodling on the paper in front of her...that is not because she is a bad kid and not because she is undisciplined...it is because of her disorder.

I will admit though that I see way too many instances where kids are literally out of control and you witness yourself that they are clearly not well disciplined by the parent(s) and when, for the 20th time the kid doesn't come to them when called, they turn and say "He has ADHD" as though it's a reason for THAT behavior...that gets on my nerves.

I understand your point, but you do have to remember that sometimes behavior IS the result of the disorder. Both of my sons have ADHD. Because of it, they don't listen - not because they don't want to, but because they honestly can't draw their attention away from whatever to do so. That's why I have to go to them, get their eyes on me and make sure their eyes stay on me as I speak to them. So yes, there are instances when I will tell someone that something my kid is doing is the result of ADHD - because it is. It doesn't excuse all of his behavior. If he does something he knows he shouldn't, he gets in trouble. If he's mean, rude, disrespectful, or a smart ass, he gets in trouble. But running full tilt around the playground? Fidgeting in his seat? Talking so fast you can barely understand him? All because of his ADHD, and NOT something I'm going to punish him for because another parent doesn't think he should act that way.

ADD/ ADHD- is not an excuse for being a jackass.
I agree with Louise on this. Not being able to focus or hyper focus is not an excuse for being an obnoxious out of control brat with no consideration of others. The parents of Those children need to become better educated about their child's diagnosis.

Sensory disorder is completely different. Thanks to CM, now, if I see an older child having a melt down in the store, I think sensory disorder.

But, also thanks to CM, if I see the parent just ignoring the melt down, I think, "Lady, deal with your child"!
If I see the parent working with the child it confirms my suspicion of a sensory disorder and give one of those supportive smile and leave them alone to save them from embarrassment.

She just wants to vent...

My daughter does this to me all the time.

I hope you feel better now.

LOL!

Vent away. There are some behavioues that you can change and others you might be able to modify a bit depending on the disorder.
I do hear you though I have seen many that basically set the bar so low "because their kids can't be expected to do better"

I feel sorry for the children with parents who have so little hope for their children.

That being said I do think the majority of parents with kids with disorders do an amazing job teaching their kids to be the very best that they can be.

fiatpax nailed it AGAIN....this is a very sensitive question for some.....no one should judge.