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How can I teach my step daughter that it's not ok to lie and what kind of punishment is suitable.

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crazystepmom713

Asked by crazystepmom713 at 7:43 PM on Feb. 1, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

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Answers (10)
  • You just have to keep letting them know, and I would let the hubby do the punishment.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:46 PM on Feb. 1, 2009

  • Well the old story Peter and the Wolf is a really good book that a child might be able to understand and take away a good lesson. Have you heard of it?
    HayleyGM

    Answer by HayleyGM at 7:51 PM on Feb. 1, 2009

  • We have told her the kid who cried Wolf didn't work, I try to let him punish her but it's me that she lies to.... thanks for the advise btw....
    crazystepmom713

    Answer by crazystepmom713 at 8:03 PM on Feb. 1, 2009

  • my mom always told me that if i did something wrong and then lied about it, the punishment would be way worse than if i did something wrong but told the truth. and then she proved it to me. my mom used time out or spankings. but i guess that was a time when spankings werent such a big deal and were more common good luck
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:04 PM on Feb. 1, 2009

  • anon @ 8:04 here-it was my stepmom that taught me this lesson btw
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:07 PM on Feb. 1, 2009

  • If step daughter was your biological child...........how would you handle this? I think I would def. let her know that it hurts your feelings to be lied to. That when she lies she makes her self less trust worthy. I'd suggest a reward system........but what is that teaching her? That if she doesnt lie she gets a prize. Not that lying just isnt acceptable. Mabey try keeping it personal. Let her know its hurtful, that it hurts you that you cannot trust her. Mabey by reacting with sadness instead of anger it may make her think.
    mistynights234

    Answer by mistynights234 at 8:23 PM on Feb. 1, 2009

  • The rule in this house is "Do it and get into trouble once. Do it and lie about it and get into trouble twice." What ever the normal punishment would be for just doing what ever it was is doubled because of the lie. It's been really effective here. For a while we thought our son was going to be a pathological liar for the rest of his life! He's really cut back on it now. We're still working on him.
    debra_benge

    Answer by debra_benge at 8:50 PM on Feb. 1, 2009

  • I like what debra benge said. If this ever becomes an issue I will use that.
    What happened with me is that when my son was 5(ish) he lied to me once... I talked to him about the importance of being honest. Let him know that if he lied to me then I wouldn't be able to trust him (nor would anyone else) which could be dangerous - like if someone did something 'mean' to him... well if he had lied to me I wouldn't know if I could believe him or not.
    Then he admitted having lied to me, so for a week after whenever he told me something I would ask if he was being honest or not, because I just didn't know if I could trust him.

    If you try this you will have to have DH in on it too, and say something like... well you lied to *what SD calls you*, so how do I know that you aren't lying to me now? How can I trust you when I know you aren't always honest? Get him to let her know it's not ok with him.
    indigostone

    Answer by indigostone at 1:57 AM on Feb. 2, 2009

  • Lots of great answers I am dealing with that except when I call her on it she says but, I wasn't lying i was kidding.ugh!
    mamamom431

    Answer by mamamom431 at 2:56 PM on Feb. 2, 2009

  • mamamom, my son started to pull that one with me (at one point). What worked for me was to tell him that if he is wanting to joke, fine...BUT he is to immediately tell me that he was joking, otherwise I will consider it a lie and he will be treated accordingly.
    indigostone

    Answer by indigostone at 11:18 PM on Feb. 2, 2009

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