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Punishing my 3 yr old...
Her current favorite word is NO. Just like most kids this age. Sometimes she says no, but she does it anyway. These last few weeks have been nothing but SUPREMELY frustrating and stressful for me. My dh works 7 days a week and is currently cleaning his dad's old house out and getting rid of things since his death. So while I am trying to be sympathetic cause its only been a week, he doesn't see the stuff she does or don't do. So by the time he gets home I am hot (its currently 90 INSIDE my house) pissed off, she greets him and hugs him and tells him she sooooooooooo happy hes home, she misses him and so on. Today was the last draw. I was cleaning up my front room, and I asked her to pick up her toys and put them in her room. She promptly says no, then not only did she just defy me, she runs into her room and sticks her tongue at me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!! I put her on her bed, got a big black garbage bag, and I picked up every fucking toy she has!!!! And put them on the front porch. He comes home and he sees what I did, and he gets mad at ME FOR GODS SAKE!! I am with her 24/7 all day....all week.....all the time.....He gets to go to work and when he comes home at night most times shes asleep. So, yet we argue. He was going to give her toys back. I cannot convey the white hot anger that surged through me. I told him tomorrow, he will take her with him to his dads house. I want some me time.
So, was my punishment to much? How should I return her toys? I gave out the punishment, but I am unclear as to when and how to give them back to her. She simply at times just ignores me, and does not listen. I know shes 3, but I think she knows what she s doing is naughty. So please help meeeeeeeeee!!
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Calm down momma, I know it's hard, trust me, I know. I'm by myself with my 5 1/2 yr old & 2 1/2 yr old 24/7, except when they're at their dads, every other weekend (since I work at home). You have to first realize that her mind does not work like an adults'. The best thing is to immediately correct bad behavior, tell her face to face that it is not okay to disrespect mommy, then yes take her toys for a while (like a day) if you must.Found an answer to your question?
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Ya, I have told her that, quite a few times. But, she still does it despite being told not to do that. Thats what so frustrating.
Comment by Michigan-Mom74 (original poster) at 12:44 AM on Jul. 7, 2012
Credits: 57396 Level 33
General Parenting Minor
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I know but, just like everything else, it takes time to sink in.Found an answer to your question?
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listen to 3libras. and how do you return them? one at a time, and then take them one at a time. then when all of her toys are all over, its only a few, or maybe just one. have her really be apart of this to maximize the learning possibilities. also try these books to see if they might benefit you.
here is their website
positiveparenting.com
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Thank you flowers, I will most definitely will read upon that!
Comment by Michigan-Mom74 (original poster) at 1:36 AM on Jul. 7, 2012
Credits: 57396 Level 33
General Parenting Minor
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Deep breath, Mom. I know how you feel. I work from home and am with my 4-year-old all day, so by the time her dad arrives for dinner, I'm pulling my hair out.
Have you tried time out? My daughter sits on the stairs because there's nothing to do or see. She doesn't sit there for a set number of minutes, it's till she calms down, apologizes, and says what she did wrong. I haven't taken all of her toys, but I sometimes put a toy in time out if she won't stop playing and clean up when asked, or if she sasses me. I return the toy when she behaves and quits nagging me about it.
I try to ignore the first no because often, my daughter will say no right away, then stop and think, and change her mind. Then I praise her for obeying. If I answer the first no, though, then it's a battle of wills, and nobody wins.
Sometimes I wonder what happened to my sweet baby. I've heard the defiance fades with time. I can only hope!Found an answer to your question?
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I do that to my 3 year old all the time. He gets them back the next time he picks up his toys without a fight. If it gets to the point where they're ALL in bags, he gets them back by doing something else he's asked to do without misbehaving. This occasionally backfires when he attemps to assist me in "throwing out" his toys but putting them in the actual trash can, but for the most part it works.Found an answer to your question?
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"Sometimes I wonder what happened to my sweet baby. I've heard the defiance fades with time. I can only hope!"
My current theory with that is that the aliens that are visiting and making those crop circles, the ones who took my little angel, and replaced her with this insanely defiant little she devil. Or a more plausible theory is that my dear old mom gave me the 'mother's curse'; by telling me I will get a child exactly like me! And I tell you what, my dd can give me lessons on being stubborn and head-headed!
Comment by Michigan-Mom74 (original poster) at 3:17 AM on Jul. 7, 2012
Credits: 57396 Level 33
General Parenting Minor
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The heat isn't helping either I'm sure. Can you forget about cleaning up when it' 90 inside your house & go outside & have a squirt gun fight, a hose fight, or a water balloon fight? :p And of course hubby will side w/ her. Look at the sweet little greeting he gets from daddy's little girl. Something he needs even more right now. They know they've got their daddy wrapped, even at this age! lol :p Take a deep breath, cool off & have a drink. Tomorrow's another day! lol :p GL!!! :)
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I don't think you over-reacted. To give them back, my suggestion would be to sit down with her and let her know that good behavior will reward her for getting her toys back, slowly, of course. She can have x amount at first, but she needs to keep them put up when not playing with them. If she doesn't, she'll get them taken away again, but if she does, she'll get to pick out another toy (or you can pick it out, whatever).Found an answer to your question?
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