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When is enough, enough?

So for the last year I have been caring for a 91 yr old grandma in law who is completely dependent on assistance. She is on hospice for failure to thrive or FTT. I hardly see my side of the family and I am very tired and cranky all the time from giving 24 hr care. My love life with my Husband suffers as well as my relationship with my little one. So should I call it quits or stay a little longer?

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emmyholder

Asked by emmyholder at 11:12 PM on Feb. 1, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (6)
  • quits, i would anyway
    josalin

    Answer by josalin at 11:15 PM on Feb. 1, 2009

  • that is a really tough situation, but i think all you need to do is set boundaries. and ask someone else to help you out. set boundaries so you can spend time with YOUR family bc it shouldnt be suffering. i know this is tough, but you will get thru! :)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:16 PM on Feb. 1, 2009

  • Ask for help. Don't quit completely but schedule out what you could realistically do, and what you can't cover recruit others to help.
    julipickle

    Answer by julipickle at 11:17 PM on Feb. 1, 2009

  • Bless your heart for doing this! I don't know what to tell you really...Maybe instead of giving up on her you could attempt to restore a little balance to your life. Make it priority (and convey this to your husband) to have alone time. Also, have a date night once a week. This truely is a self less act you are doing, but you need to live a normal life as well. Could you possibly hire a nurse to help you out once in a while?
    hgibsonorc

    Answer by hgibsonorc at 11:18 PM on Feb. 1, 2009

  • You have a kind heart and are a great person. Do I have it right? This is your in-law? So it's your husbands grandma? Ok so why isn't anyone else in his family helping out? Actually even if it was your grandma your husband should help out. I agree with setting a schedule. There is no reason you should take all that on by yourself. Your family is important too. I wouldn't quit because really if you've already taken all this on you sound like you're not a quitter anyway. I would just ask people to help you. Your family is just as important and don't want to lose them. I hope this helps and bless you....you are wonderful.
    aidansmom111804

    Answer by aidansmom111804 at 11:55 PM on Feb. 1, 2009

  • That is a very noble thing you are doing taking care of her, and at 91 she is living on borrowed time and that would be the perfect reason for her side of the family to want to help you out when you call them and tell them you have had to put your family on hold to care for their grandmother and what day will they be relieving you so you can tend to mom duties, some you time, some lovey dovey time. Ticks me off to see people run over kind people, let them know that it is not to much to ask for everyone in the family to spend equal amounts of time being her caretaker and that is completely fair to all especially YOU!
    1countrygal

    Answer by 1countrygal at 2:39 AM on Feb. 2, 2009

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