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When you were growing up do you remember a phase...

where you started thinking about everything? Like what will sex be like, what will childbirth be like, what happens if mom dies, what happens if dad dies, if I died who would care?
My daughter is there. She is nine. She really isn't thinking too much about sex, mostly about why is she having these wierd thoughts. I am trying to be there and listen and reassure her. Do you have any advice for me? Wow, after all our talks I just found out tonight she really doesn't understand periods. We have had so much discussion about things, but she really didn't understand. So....HELP.

 
SusieD250

Asked by SusieD250 at 1:50 AM on Feb. 2, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 4 (40 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • My seven yr old son told me yesterday that sometimes he wonders why he is here. I said because God wants you to be here and you have a great purpose and plan and its okay to wonder, but to remember that God made you and its wonderful. As far as the maturing process goes, just give her time. Explain the best you can and use the books as references. One really good one is" The care and keeping of you". Its an American Girl book and its great. Also she might just be too young to "get it" quite yet and it will come with time. Definitely keep yourself open for answers for the next 5 yrs. All kids go through this thinking process. I don't remember when I did because my home life was very dysfunctional. It was likely my focus was on that instead of the meaning of life.
    momofsaee

    Answer by momofsaee at 10:07 AM on Feb. 2, 2009

  • Did one of her friends recently have a death in her family, or maybe something she saw on tv got her to thinking about what would happen to her if something happened to you. My 8y/o recently asked me (innocently enough) what divorce was. She said her friends parents were divorced. I explained that it was when a mom and a dad chose not to live together anymore and weren't married anymore. She freaked out! "You can't get unmarried!" Then 9,000,000,000,000,000 questions later I got her calmed down. So maybe it's like that, just something she heard got her thinking. I haven't talked to my dd about periods yet, I will probably wait until she's 11 or so. My mom NEVER talked to me (thank God for Judy Blume). LOL
    mrssullivan

    Answer by mrssullivan at 2:06 AM on Feb. 2, 2009

  • How did u explain monthlies? I told my girls that it's normal, it's scary at first, it can happen at first anywhere any time - start at night, somewhere in school etc. BUT it's supposed to happen. More not normal if monthlies didn't happen. Also said to mine that monthlies because it might someday help a lady's body grow a baby inside. U can leave out until more questions asked about how baby gets there, do monthlies hurt or not, also 'do I have to have a baby but I don't want a baby' ... just answer what she needs to know. Prepare her 1st w/monthlies, I suggest, let it soak in, have sex talk another time. I was very open with my girls from very young ages cause my mother was not, was very very frightening to bleed and for my mom to have not prepared me for that. Thank God for my best friend & her mom, my saviours. Be honest calm, reassuring. I spoke of abortion & rape too, those having either still good people.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:09 AM on Feb. 2, 2009

  • I have talked to her many times about her period and what to expect. She also has the My Body Book and now is asking about sex. (I think because of other kids comments.) SOMEONE must have said something about babies to her, as she had a gazillion and one questions about them. (For some reason, even tho she knows her body parts..she still thought when she had a baby it would come out the urethra.) She asked about pads and tampons. She asked about it hurting. I think someone must have given her the impression periods hurt really badly. I told her that it is uncomfortable for most people, but controllable. (I didn't want to tell her about endometriosis or anything!)
    SusieD250

    Answer by SusieD250 at 2:23 AM on Feb. 2, 2009

  • The sex talk kind of merged into this a little as she told me her little cousin who is one year younger then her told her that she had had sex before. I said "Oh, tell me what she said. What exactly is sex?" We talked about the realities of sex. The little girl had told her "It is when you put your mouth all over a boys body." That made me very uncomfortable. I told my husband that girl is not coming over here anymore. (I have to protect my boys.) I also am calling her Grandma, my husbands Grandma and talking to her about it.) I feel as though it is too odd of a statement to let go. But her mom did tell me once that her daughter says odd things and lies a lot. (I don't know her well enough to know that.) What I really wanted was for my daughter to know that she is NOT ready for sex and she needs to talk to me about things. To trust me to put her first.
    SusieD250

    Answer by SusieD250 at 2:28 AM on Feb. 2, 2009

  • Just be careful waiting too long for the period talk. I got mine right after I turned 10, before the schools ever had the talk with us. I had NO IDEA what was going on!! I thought I was hemorrhaging!!
    AM78

    Answer by AM78 at 11:31 AM on Feb. 2, 2009

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