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Would you give up you child attending an amazing prek program and

put your older child (8) in a situation where they would be in there 3rd elementary school in 4 years. (with apserger's) if it meant living closer to your husbands work making money a little less of an issue?

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But_Mommie

Asked by But_Mommie at 8:40 AM on Jul. 10, 2012 in General Parenting

Level 44 (171,268 Credits)
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Answers (12)
  • This is a hard one for me. I know how it is to struggle for every dime and cutting costs is always something I do if I can. In your situation it is difficult though because your son loves his school and he is comfortable there.

    I know either way it is gonna be hard. I wish I had advice for you mama but all I have is support and an ear to listen when you need it.
    kmath

    Answer by kmath at 11:25 AM on Jul. 10, 2012

  • I'm going to go against the tide a bit and say no, I would not give up the slot.

    I've been in this position before and, speaking from experience, money issues will come and go. Giving your child the security of a program they are familiar with and excel within is worth more than anything.

    However, I know this is a difficult decision for you and I wish you nothing but the best as you make it.
    BrawnwynII

    Answer by BrawnwynII at 8:54 AM on Jul. 10, 2012

  • Yes, I probably would. If moving closer meant that the family would be less stressed, you could spend more time together as a complete family unit - then yes. I think that the benefits of being together more and having less stress on the family would far outweigh any school situation. (I understand aspergers, my oldest has autism and my answer remains the same)
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 8:42 AM on Jul. 10, 2012

  • It depends on how much of a long-term gain for the family the financial improvement would be, and how much of a loss the amazing pre-k and same school for the other child would be.
    SWasson

    Answer by SWasson at 8:44 AM on Jul. 10, 2012

  • How much closer,, anything less than 30 miles wouldn't really affect the pocket book too much,, I would be hard pressed to change my child's school if I was as happy as you describe, if the other school isn't up to the quality of the current school, I would tell hubby to take his lunch to save the money.
    kimigogo

    Answer by kimigogo at 8:48 AM on Jul. 10, 2012

  • We had to do something similar, and we made the move. It was hard at first. I had a son with some behavioral challenges, but we ended up with a fabulous teacher, and actually we made some choices the 2nd year that changed everyone's life for the better. I think if you are stressed out about finances and commuting time this affects the kids as well.

    What I've found over the years is, all you can do is try to make the best decision possible. Life changes anyway and you only have so much control. Then, make the decisions that you've made work.

    Whichever way you go, you can make it work! Good luck, mama
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 9:53 AM on Jul. 10, 2012

  • well she would loose her prek slot- period- no prek. I feel awful because she has been begging to go to school and I finally got to tell her she was going to go in a few months. I will break her heart to tell her it will be another year. My son is at this fabulous school with this great program this year and I know nothing about this county. I love his special ed teacher and I don't know if we will ever find anyone else this amazing. But we have to move and rentals in our school district are SO high. I could move ot of district but then I have to drive him to school... and her adding more gas. I just want things to stay how they are but that is not an option at this time... It hurts me so bad to do this to them.
    But_Mommie

    Comment by But_Mommie (original poster) at 8:49 AM on Jul. 10, 2012

  • it would go from an hour drive to a 7 minute drive. he works 15, 12 hour shifts a month.
    But_Mommie

    Comment by But_Mommie (original poster) at 8:49 AM on Jul. 10, 2012

  • I wouldn't do it, I understand you could maybe get cheaper rent, but you also may get "cheaper" neighbors,, kwim? I would say that 15 times a month would be about 30 gallons of gas about $100, so it wouldn't be worth it to me to have you child in upheaval again. If you were to drive an hour 20 times a month each way then your gas would go to approx $150 a month, so no savings there.
    How much longer until all your kids are in school, maybe you could take a small part-time job to earn a bit more money?
    Now if you are in a situation that is keeping you from putting food on the table, then you have no choice.
    kimigogo

    Answer by kimigogo at 8:59 AM on Jul. 10, 2012

  • PS--if you husband only works 15 days a month, could he get a part-time when he is off, or watch the kids so you can,,?
    kimigogo

    Answer by kimigogo at 9:01 AM on Jul. 10, 2012

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