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I need ideas on how to help my 10 year old with worrying right at bedtime - shes not sleeping!

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Asked by Anonymous at 11:40 AM on Feb. 2, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

Answers (8)
  • Well if you have no idea what she is worried about, it's kind of tough to console her. Perhaps you could tell us if you do know, then we can go from there.

    Answer by mom_wrhsc at 11:43 AM on Feb. 2, 2009

  • Oh I had this problem when I was her age. It was awful. I was a complete insomniac. Try some simple relaxation techniques with her. Sit by her bed, have her close her eyes and then just guide her. Tell her to slowly relax her toes. Breath in and out. As thoughts come into your head, gentley let them go back out again. Breath in .... breath out. Relax your feet. don't think about anything else. as thoughts come in... and so on up to her face. Don't stop until you know she's asleep. Eventually she'll be able to do it herself.

    Answer by beckcorc at 11:51 AM on Feb. 2, 2009

  • When I was her age I used to have to do a ten minute deep breathing yoga exercise before I went to bed to help with the stress of god only knows what. sometimes kids are just stressed. beckcorc had a great idea that i tried but i couldn't get it to work for myself what i did was sit on the floor indian style set a timer for ten minutes and take three count breaths in and out until the timer went off. I stll get a little anxious before I go to bed but I'm okay now something about the vulnerability of sleep always gets me. if she continues to not sleep and stuff because she is worrying you might want to take her to a doctor and get her checked out for an anxiety disorder, people don't often think to check on things like that for children but you have to remember that in some ways their lives our just as bad as ours if not worse sometimes what with peer pressure and puberty and all.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:58 AM on Feb. 2, 2009

  • Ask her what she is worrying about. If she doesn't name anything specific and doesn't seem to worry during the day.....then maybe she has herself worked up thinking that she can't or won't be able to fall asleep (which can be frustrating). Change the routine and give her something to think about other than not sleeping. Like reading a book, playing a book on cd, putting on soft music, taking a warm bath before she goes to bed....something other than laying there thinking about not being able to go to sleep. Also, make sure she is not drinking caffeine which may be keeping her up.

    Answer by momjs at 8:37 PM on Feb. 2, 2009

  • Is anyone going in her room at night and bothering her? Are there scary noises that wake her and scare her (shouting, items being broken as in a fight?) Are there any noises outside that could be frightening her at night? Does she think there are ghosts in her room? There are many reasons why kids are afraid to go to sleep. Fear you might not be there when she wakes up? Scary dreams?

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:38 PM on Feb. 2, 2009

  • i had the same issues when i was a kid, but it wasnt sleep i was afraid of, i would just be scared about dieing? i had no idea why i did it, i would stay up at night and cry because of it.

    Answer by mandei1509 at 10:41 PM on Feb. 2, 2009

  • i would talk to her dr if this is a new thing....did something happen to make her afraid? is it nightmares? what is she worried about? if it is the stress of the day coming undone perhaps a diary to help her release the tension. or if she wont talk to you perhaps a councelor? if this is a sudden occcurance i would definatly get some help if she is not talking about the issue!! if she is worried about what will happen when she sleeps then perhaps a baby monitor you can place in her room and the reciever in yours so she knows you can hear in her room and she is safe? if it is ongoing definatly call a doc!

    Answer by allforthelove at 4:26 AM on Feb. 3, 2009

  • TAlk to her sounds like she may have anxiety issues. If this is something new for her, I would be concerned that something happened in her life to make her anxious. If she is generally a bit of a worrier and somewhat anxious it is understandable that when you lie down to go to sleep you have nothing else to distract you or keep you busy so the anxiety builds up.....Some counseling might help. Maybe there are techniques for bedtime that they can suggest. I think maybe writing down a few things that are on her mind, and then putting them down (symbolically putting them away for now...) might help. If is is serious, start with the md and then counselor.

    Answer by BJoan at 9:06 AM on Feb. 4, 2009

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