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3 Bumps

Where do I go from here?

I'm pretty sure the relationship is over with my current boyfriend. We have been together for almost 2 years (we are both in our 30's). I have children from my previous marriage, he doesn't have any children. We are really good friends and I have a feeling we always will be. There is no doubt in my mind that I love him and I know that he loves me. But we are at a stand still in our relationship as I want to wait until my kids are grown (about 7 more yrs) to get remarried. He says he is fine with waiting for me and that I'm worth it, but it just feels like our relationship has stalled out. And I don't think it is fair to ask him to wait. Thoughts?

 
tempsingl3mom

Asked by tempsingl3mom at 7:22 PM on Jul. 15, 2012 in Relationships

Level 26 (27,544 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (15)
  • I have a friend who was in a similar situation. She was with her BF for close to 5 years before she said "yes!" and another 2 before "I do" last month. They lived together for several years and considered each others kids as theirs.

    Have a nice weekend away and take it from there. Things can get scary when talking about marriage. He thinks you are worth the wait. Now you have to think so too.
    balagan_imma

    Answer by balagan_imma at 7:52 AM on Jul. 16, 2012

  • Why end it if you are still in love & he's willing to wait to get married. Where else do you expect it to go while you're waiting? Is he living w/ you guys? Maybe a weekend away to rekindle the romance?

    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 7:26 PM on Jul. 15, 2012

  • Honestly, it sounds more like your stalling, as opposed to the relationship being stalled. I'm not saying that's bad if your gut is truly telling you something. But, it could be that you fear getting remarried & subsequently getting re-divorced.

    3libras

    Answer by 3libras at 7:32 PM on Jul. 15, 2012

  • If marriage is the next logical step, and you're both in agreement to wait, then how is the relationship stalled? A stalled relationship would be one in which you both refuse to talk about the future, or have different ideas of what that future should be.

    I get being scared. I've been divorced for almost 9 years. I was in a relationship for about a year and a half that ended just over a year ago. I haven't had a single date since then, frankly, I'm enjoying being single. It would take a truly incredible, special man to convince me to change that now. But for the right one, I would be willing to do it. I think you need to decide if this is a matter of being afraid to take that step or a matter of knowing that he really isn't the one and being afraid to admit that. If it's the first, you can work through it, but if it's the second, you need to admit it and set both of you free.
    wendythewriter

    Answer by wendythewriter at 8:13 PM on Jul. 15, 2012

  • I understand wanting to wait til your children are grown but if they already know him and you know he is the one you said your great friends why hold off on the marriage? He seems like a good guy saying your worth waiting for!! I hope it works out good luck
    supgrl87

    Answer by supgrl87 at 7:27 PM on Jul. 15, 2012

  • IMO, yes. Honestly, right now I feel like it would take a truly awesome man for me to re-marry. I understand the fear. But, if your BF really is that incredible, you might have to take a leap of faith.
    3libras

    Answer by 3libras at 7:39 PM on Jul. 15, 2012

  • Why?
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 7:24 PM on Jul. 15, 2012

  • I don't understand your question.
    tempsingl3mom

    Comment by tempsingl3mom (original poster) at 7:26 PM on Jul. 15, 2012

  • He does not live with us. We live in different cities. I just don't think it's fair to make him wait. But a weekend away might not be a bad idea.
    tempsingl3mom

    Comment by tempsingl3mom (original poster) at 7:28 PM on Jul. 15, 2012

  • Because he has a great job where he lives so marrying him would mean uprooting my kids who have already been thru enough with the divorce. He is a great guy. I'm just having doubts on whether I can make him happy and be enough for him. And I don't want him to regret waiting for me.
    tempsingl3mom

    Comment by tempsingl3mom (original poster) at 7:31 PM on Jul. 15, 2012