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3 Bumps

Having stepson sleep on pull-out couch is wrong ???

When I married my husband we both accepted our children from othr relationships - I have a 6 year old daughter, and 3 year old son and he has a 12 year old son who stays with us every other weekend, plus a few days here and there ( we let him stay whenever he wants,it just depends when his mom lets him) ....

So we bought a new house, it is a 3 bedoom, 2 bath, plus has a huge den... Since my kids live here 24/7 , they do have their own rooms, and we bought a big pull out couch and dresser to keep in the den ( which when SS is not here, itis the playroom) ...

I LOVE my SS, and when we were looking for houses we did want a 4 bedroom, but since we live in a small area, we literaly found NO 4 bedrooms homes....

I dont let the younger kids in the playroom while he is here, unless he wants them in there HE says he has NO problem at all staying in there...

BUT his mother does.... she tells my husband that it is unfair, that she can take him to court over this and that my children should share a room, so he can have his own .............

ALSO...really the only thing he does in there is sleep, or occasionally watch tv or play a video game, he is usually hanging out with us, or outside with his dad ...

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 6:56 PM on Jul. 16, 2012 in Parenting Debate

Answers (27)
  • why not invest in bunk beds so you son can keep his things in a bedroom and sleep on the top bunk.

    Answer by But_Mommie at 6:58 PM on Jul. 16, 2012

  • She'll get laughed out of court. Tell her to bring it on.

    Answer by BrawnwynII at 6:58 PM on Jul. 16, 2012

  • I don't think he needs his own room because he's only there a few days a month, but something better than a pull out sofa should be offered. Those are incredibly uncomfortable. When I had mine, it was what I offered to unwanted houseguests, not loved children. It's not wrong to think that at his age he should have his own personal space, regardless of how often it gets used.

    Answer by Ginger0104 at 6:59 PM on Jul. 16, 2012

  • If the den is a room that is closed off by a door, then she has no case. However, it might be a good idea to no longer have your kids play in there period so, it can be more like "his room".

    Answer by 3libras at 7:01 PM on Jul. 16, 2012

  • Have you talked to the step son about how he feels? I think he probably doesn't mind, but I wonder if he has told his mother he wishes he had his own room at your home? If it doesn't bother him, then it shouldnt' bother her.

    Answer by kimigogo at 7:01 PM on Jul. 16, 2012

  • I've seen judges say that a child has to have an actual bed to sleep in, but not a room of their own. Why not get a day bed or a bunk bed with a couch underneath for the playroom... that my solve the problem.


    Answer by Crafty26 at 7:04 PM on Jul. 16, 2012

  • Well, he does have his own room. When he's there, it's his room. I would maybe look into an actual bed, or a daybed at least. Does he keep things in there when he's not there? Do the kids leave his things alone? If he doesn't feel he can leave things there, or the kids are getting into his things, then I would strongly reconsider allowing them to use it as a playroom.

    Answer by wendythewriter at 7:06 PM on Jul. 16, 2012

  • Futon?

    Answer by Kword at 7:19 PM on Jul. 16, 2012

  • well the pull outcouch is brand new and has one of those feathertoppers, so it is very comfortable.

    the den has a door, but we will keep using it as a playroom/tv room, when he is there... it is a very long room, so the one side is all his, the other side has the toys and such.... he doesleave things here, but the kids never touch it...

    Ihave asked him if he feels like he would feel better about it being just his room, and he says no, he says it is no big deal to him a all and he has also mentioned how his mother keeps asking questions about everything we do while he is here.

    From experiance with her, I think thisis just somethig for her to complain about, but wanted to make sure she couldnt do anything in cout.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 7:22 PM on Jul. 16, 2012

  • Hopefully the judge will laugh her out of court. Your ss has a room with a place to sleep ina his father's home filled with love. She needs to get a reality check.

    Answer by meooma at 7:23 PM on Jul. 16, 2012

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