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2 Bumps

50/50 custody

My boyfriend and his ex have a 3 year old daughter together. My boyfriend wants to get 50/50 custody of his daughter. His ex is livid I personally think that it's good that he is trying to get 50/50 some women think they are more of a parent than the fathers which is untrue. I think its great he wants to be a father and take on his responsibility. The ex is complaining that what he is doing is totally unfair and that he is taking their daughter away from her. I need opinions and suggestions on how to handle this situation.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:47 AM on Jul. 18, 2012 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (17)
  • technically, there is NOTHING you can do in this situation at all. this is the parents' business. not yours.

    Answer by dullscissors at 11:49 AM on Jul. 18, 2012

  • Stay out of it and let him handle it.

    Answer by LostSoul88 at 11:50 AM on Jul. 18, 2012

  • why the change in custody? How long have they been apart, ho woften does he see the child now? Is he doing this so child support will stop or does he really want her 50/50.

    Where is she during the day- at home with mom or at preschool? How many hours would he actually spend with her MORE than now if he got split custody?

    There are a ton of factors here and he is going to have to have a really good reason going into court to change how things are now.

    Answer by luvmygrandbaby at 11:53 AM on Jul. 18, 2012

  • I think it's a matter of what's the most fair for the child, not what's the most fair for the parents. I know a lot of kids who went through this and are now adults. Fifty fifty custody can be really hard on children.They often feel like they are always moving, they don't have a real home, half their stuff is at one house, half at the other....they don't always have what they want. It also makes their social life harder as they get older.

    The kids didn't choose the situation, and it's what's best for them that should be considered

    The bottom line is however, dull and lostsoul are correct....this is between the parents, you really don't have a say in it.

    Answer by ohwrite at 11:56 AM on Jul. 18, 2012

  • luvmygrandbaby he wants 50/50 because when he was with his ex his was pretty much the primary parent. He would cook, clean and take care of their daughter while she was sleeping or out partying, plus he would work that is why he wants 50/50

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:57 AM on Jul. 18, 2012

  • Oh I know its not my business and I am not trying to get involved I am just looking for suggestions for my boyfriend.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:01 PM on Jul. 18, 2012

  • I think all children's parents should have 50/50 custody. and networks set up to support such a way that the parents go to classes to learn to get along, share the expenses, problems in raising children (parental classes) etc. Take the power away from the courts and return it to the families. i AM 100% percent supportive of 50/50 custody. It should NOT be about the money, which is often the case with a one sided custody situation and only the courts win in a case like that, thats the reason its set up like that to began with (hmmmm, something to think about)... it should be about the child. 50/50 makes it about the child!

    Answer by lacyjones at 12:12 PM on Jul. 18, 2012

  • lacyjones I agree with you I think all parents should have 50/50. That way the children have equal time with both parents. My daughter is 18 and her and her father did 50/50 from the minute we agreed to divorce, and guess what? My daughter loved it. She loved having two fully involved parents.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:15 PM on Jul. 18, 2012

  • Personally, I think you should stay out of it. Nothing irks me more than when girlfriends come on the scene with their own "helpful advice". Let those two deal with the situation and just be there for your boyfriend.

    Answer by ABeaverhausen at 12:20 PM on Jul. 18, 2012

  • Beaverhausen all I did was tell him if he wants 50/50 to go for it, I didn't get involved.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:24 PM on Jul. 18, 2012

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