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6 Bumps

partner and 25 year old daughter has moved in,daughter does not contribute to the house hold

i love my partner very much but every time i try to discuss the matter with her she gets defensive and i can not put up with the daughter any more, i am trying to better the life of my partner and my self for our future but my partner just keeps handing out, i have 2 children who are both out in the world living there own lives,,, please help

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ceterpaple

Asked by ceterpaple at 7:13 PM on Jul. 18, 2012 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 3 (14 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • all i can say is why did you allow the 25yo dd to move in, too? this should've been part of the pre-move-in discussion.
    dullscissors

    Answer by dullscissors at 7:15 PM on Jul. 18, 2012

  • You didn't know your partner was moving in with her daughter? Did you and your partner talk about the finances before moving in together?
    meooma

    Answer by meooma at 7:15 PM on Jul. 18, 2012

  • What is the story of how she came to be there? I would calmly talk to your SO and tell her that you all need to come up with some kind of plan for her child.
    kimigogo

    Answer by kimigogo at 7:16 PM on Jul. 18, 2012

  • How would you like us to help?
    Your partner moved the daughter in. We are unable to kick the daughter out.

    Do you need conversation openers?
    How about- "I love you, but your kid needs to grow up".
    feralxat

    Answer by feralxat at 7:26 PM on Jul. 18, 2012

  • How long have you and your partner been together? Was his DD living with her dad before you invited them both to move in with you?

    There's no easy way out now that they are both living with you and your SO isn't bothered by it. You might have to ask them both to move out.
    RyansMom001

    Answer by RyansMom001 at 7:27 PM on Jul. 18, 2012

  • Was the daughter living with your partner before they moved in?
    If they are both working than you need to tell them everyone is adults and everyone has a responsibility in your home which means paying towards bills and food.

    If they are not working, and actively looking they can take care of the chores.

    If nothing is going to work for them, than you need to tell them the living arrangements will not work and give them a set time to move on.
    virginiamama71

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 7:27 PM on Jul. 18, 2012

  • thanks for the answers the daughter was living with my partner prior to moving in , but i was told would hardly be home and would contribute to the house goes to uni one day a week and works 2 days i am semi retired at 49 yeares` of age and own my own property the daughter lays in bed all day and makes things difficult around the house and is driving a wedge between the 2 of us
    ceterpaple

    Comment by ceterpaple (original poster) at 7:45 PM on Jul. 18, 2012

  • We will almost always answer. Unless you ask, "Am I pregnant". Then, haha, you're f*cked.
    Since you responded, please fill out a few detail on your profile. Otherwise, you may get torn to bits.


    "i was told would hardly be home and would contribute to the house"
    What are your expectations? What was agreed to ahead of time?

    Critically speaking- Is mom a little weak in regards to child?
    feralxat

    Answer by feralxat at 7:49 PM on Jul. 18, 2012

  • i dont think it will work out ,we have been dating for 3 years and living to gether for 6 months ,engaged for 5 months
    ceterpaple

    Comment by ceterpaple (original poster) at 7:52 PM on Jul. 18, 2012

  • Sounds like something that should have discussed before and is no an elephant in the room.

    Unfortunately you are going to have to put you foot down even if it means they both move out.

    Or you will have to lie down and write doormat on your back
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:51 PM on Jul. 20, 2012

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