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3 Bumps

Step family

I have two kids from a previous relationship and my boyfriend has one child from a previous relationship. We have agreed that when we get married we will not be helping out financially with each others children that we cannot really afford it. Is this wrong?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 1:46 PM on Jul. 19, 2012 in Relationships

Answers (18)
  • um YES! When you marry, you become a whole. Yours kids are his now and his kids are yours.

    Answer by LostSoul88 at 1:48 PM on Jul. 19, 2012

  • I'm not sure that I understand exactly how this will work.

    Answer by ABeaverhausen at 1:48 PM on Jul. 19, 2012

  • I wouldn't get married if that was the case.

    Answer by okmommy08 at 1:48 PM on Jul. 19, 2012

  • Not wrong, but how can you not afford it? Or let me rephrase that to ask what exactly is you won't be helping each other with? If you're all living in the same house, trying to divide everything up so that you're each only taking care of your own kids is going to be really difficult and drive you insane. But if you're just talking child support and big things like school trips and stuff, that I can understand.

    Answer by wendythewriter at 1:49 PM on Jul. 19, 2012

  • LostSoul88: No his son will not be mine. I will be a stepmom not his mother. He has a father my boyfriend. And he has a mother. I have my own kids who also have fathers.

    ABeaverhausen: We both don't have a lot of money so I am going to just financially take care of my kids and hes gunna do the same for his son.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:50 PM on Jul. 19, 2012

  • yes. When you become a family all the money should go into the same pot. There is no longer a his and hers.

    Answer by But_Mommie at 1:50 PM on Jul. 19, 2012

  • wendy: meaning during holidays I buy for my kids he buys for his, school trips, school clothes all that will be separate.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:51 PM on Jul. 19, 2012

  • I love it when FUCKTARDS post anon!

    Answer by luvmygrandbaby at 1:53 PM on Jul. 19, 2012

  • when are people going to 'get it' that step children ARE part of the family. Being a step mother IS being a part of the child's family. If you start all the my kids his kids stuff the kids are going to see it the same way and there will be arguments and debates. And then does it really matter how the money is being spent and on whom as long as needs are being met? It still the same amount of money whether you make it hard on your self and try to divide it up or put is all together in the same pot. Staying to combine a family while remaining two different families is going to be hard on you, your BF and all the kids involved.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:53 PM on Jul. 19, 2012

  • but to answer

    when you marry YOU BECOME A FAMILY

    why get married if you cant afford to be a family?

    Answer by luvmygrandbaby at 1:53 PM on Jul. 19, 2012

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